The Coffeehouse

Sudan...The Collateral Damage of Iraq

2006-05-08T17:20:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately it appears the U.S. has learned the wrong set of lessons from the struggles in Iraq.

The problem is, by the time you've gone through the UN, everyone's dead.

You Remember You Live in New York When...

2006-05-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

Some tiny twerp stops everyone on the sidewalk for no apparent reason, only to find out a movie is being filmed on the sidewalk a 100 yards ahead. I have no idea what movie, but it definitely stars Tim Robbins and some other tall, Italian fella'.

4:58pm on a Friday

2006-05-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

And there's definitely only one thing on my mind...unfortunately, I will have to put aside day-dreaming about the weekend for another hour. Sadly, the internet has become the crutch I lean on in times like these when the office is empty, and I should be able to complete some uninterrupted work. Damn you timewasting internet/email.

Which leads me to a second thought. Have you considered recently how small the internet has become? Doesn't it seem that not long ago that the internet actually put a mental picture of a tangled, unorganized web, that could lead you to new and exciting places? Now it's much more like a downtown city grid, organized with perfect right angles. Remember when your parent's feared the internet bill because they had already used up their first free 20 hours on AOL (Instead of the 15,000 free hours they offer now)? Or even better when they tried to use the internet lingo and used awkward sentences like, "Can you downsurf a file for me from the world wide web and send it to my electronic mail account?"

And what once was an arena dominated by the entrepreneurial minded, is now another tool dominated by the corporate arena.

Every search I make goes through a company worth 116 billion dollars (this blog included). My sports site (espn.com) is owned by Disney. Even Ebay has an ownership share of craigslist. Weather.com is an affiliate of the weather channel. I believe Myspace is owned by Newscorp (and myspace is purposely kept in a manner that keeps it feeling independent...thanks to everyone's good friend Tom!).

While the internet still does provide the opportunity for the unknown with a creative idea to make his million bucks, even that will soon be jeopardized by the upcoming two-tiered internet.

But back to reality- I have another email to read.

Gas Tax

2006-05-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

More analysis on why repealing the gas tax is a cheap political trick.

I agree with the writer's assessment that this is congress's attempt to "bribe" the taxpayers. I can already hear the Dems in October talking about how they've instituted "tax breaks", or Republicans chanting about the refund they got passed to give tax payers back their money.

May Day Boycott

2006-05-01T05:38:00.000-07:00

It appears the national walkout of immigrants has already begun to fizzle, as fears of deportation and firings begin to settle in. In spirit, I can understand their passion as the majority of the immigrants want to stay in the U.S., and eventually to bring their families over. But it seems the idea of walking out on their jobs to make a unified point is far more enticing then actually carrying out the idea.

The fact remains that the majority of the workers who would participate in this protest are working in fields that are highly liquid. In the case that some do lose their jobs, there will still be more workers one rung below on the economic ladder who will jump at the opportunity to move up a step, even at the cost of presenting a unified front against this attempted legislation. It's a powerful cycle- one man's loss is almost always another man's opportunity.

Not to say the walkout will not be a success, I predict that it will received hoardes of media attention. Other than withstanding the television highlights, I'm not positive that the impact will be felt by the majority of the country. I tried to imagine what difference I might experience today, and my guess is will be when I head to the cafeteria for lunch. However, upon picking up this morning's cereal, I already recognized a number of workers who I'm positive fall into the category of people that were at one time expected to boycott.

Furthermore, one must keep in mind that the majority of the immigrant workers' living conditions have improved from where their home countries. To choose to rally and jeopardize all that they've accomplished since their arrival is no small request, and I believe that these powers of self-interest will muffle the point that the United States can't survive without their help (which is not a point I'm disputing.)

Update: Losing focus already?

Update2: The first deli wasn't serving salads due to the walkout. The second deli was running at full speed. Total wasted time...about 5 minutes.

Update3: AP Article on the attempted to boycott of U.S. products.

Juan Ortiz, a 28-year-old salesman who left a Wal-Mart in downtown Mexico City pushing a cartload of food and bathroom goods, said he supported legalizing migrants in the United States but didn't think it was practical to boycott U.S. goods here.

"You have to buy what is least expensive here and I have to buy things for my family," he said.

The Great Equalizer

2006-04-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

I finished leading my growth group today, and was struck by one passage in Spiritual Leadership.

Our problem is not too little time, but making better use of the time we have. Each of us has as much time as anyone else. The president of the United States has the same twenty-four hours as we. Others may surpass our abilities, influence, or money, but no one has more time.

I attempted to make a schedule in order to optimize my time going forward. I even read it to a couple of friends over coffee. But then the thought of having every 15 minutes of my day planned from sunrise to sunset was so depressing, I wadded the thing up and tossed it.

At the least, I intend to skip hitting the snooze button in the morning.

-Dan

Congress's 'Slick' Maneuvering

2006-04-27T05:33:00.000-07:00

A good synopsis of some of the different ideas to lower gas prices can be found in this AP release.

A couple of comments:

House and Senate conferees - as part of a broader tax package - were also considering a measure that would change accounting rules involving oil held in inventory, which would force the five biggest oil companies to pay an additional $4.3 million in taxes.

4.3 million dollars? That's like trying to take down an elephant with a pebble and a rubber band. 4.3 million dollars is a rounding error for these companies.

Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, the committee's chairman, said senators were concerned about the "record profits and significant executive compensation in the oil and gas industry."

"I want to make sure the oil companies aren't taking a speed pass by the tax man," Grassley said in a statement.

The problem with statements like these is- say Oil companies are forced to pay out an extra $20 billion a year in taxes, and thus the government has an extra $20 billion dollars in its coffers. Firstly, gauging from the history of the administration, how much of the money will be spent on solutions to our energy dependence? It's far more likely that the money will be spent on projects like Trent Lott's $700 million dollar earmark for a Railroad Where No Lives, rather than developing any sort of long term solution.

Next, if Congress does produce some sort of progressive tax on the oil companies, what incentive do they have to increase the oil supply (which at this point appears to be the current solution to reduce gas prices)? Increasing taxes in this industry further reducing competition does not do the average American any long-term favors.

My frustration is based on the fact that suggestions like the one's mentioned in the article do very little to produce long-term results, and are manifestations of election-year posturing. How do you solve the problem of energy dependence? You encourage entrepreneurs to develop alternative methods to producing energy. Why will this work? Because people will become filthy rich doing it. Hopefully when some of these alternative energy producing methods arise, Congress will resist the temptation to try and suck up their record setting profits.

PS: Good article about how the spot price of oil being lower then the future price of oil is influencing oil producers to stockpile oil rather than sell it.

America's Funniest Home Videos Business Model Officially Antiquated

2006-04-26T11:05:00.001-07:00

As the power of blogging increases, so too has the risk of having anything caught on video. Such is the case for Ryan Holt, poor soul, who only a few weeks ago got caught taking his job a little too seriously during a practical joke. He now has extensive coverage in the blogosphere, you can also now buy his merchandise, or watch his video on his own website . Amazing how quickly you can turn into a celebrity these days...I wonder how this will affect his next election campaign!

Thank You Faithful Readers

2006-04-25T14:32:00.000-07:00

It appears that I've generated enough traffic to revive my RSS feed...a small victory in the life of a blogger. Truly it doesn't mean much, but I appreciate those of you who are still dropping by despite my prolonged absence.

Congress Shooting Itself in it's Oily Foot

2006-04-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

I saw today that President Bush has authorized a probe into the oil companies for price fixing. Unfortunately, this can all be explained away as an election year political game. I used to believe that the republican party had a belief in private markets, but with majority leader Bill Frist now proposing to instate a tax on excessively high profits, I can see that public pressure has finally won out, most likely due to an election year.

It's hard for me to buy into either side caring much about how the high gas prices is hurting the average American. Considering congress didn't pass a resolution increasing oil exploration in Alaska, refuses to lighten regulations allowing for more refining capacity, and added regulations requiring 7.5 billions gallons of ethanol to be used- thus requiring more investment in infrastructure, (developing a shortage of ethanol in the U.S. yet not easing taxes on importing ethanol- all of which ends up being a tax on consumers in the end).

So what does one expect when you stagnate the amount of supply by not allowing further exploration while global demand is on the rise? Thus the republican party needs a scape-goat, which in this case is the oil companies- most likely because the average American will not understand that by limiting profits for oil companies will only lead to a further reduction in supply.

I personally will not be surprised when the price of my monthly Metro Card shoots up in the next year.

You Can Probably Call This a Crisis

2006-04-25T10:29:00.000-07:00

Read this article if you want to get a taste of what is going on in the world. It's a pretty good synopsis as to the misery of life in war-torn Uganda. Truly unbelievable.

Go to www.invisiblechildren.com if you're looking for a way to help.

-Dan

Craving for Attention?

2006-04-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

Can you think of the last time you chose to actually be quiet for an hour with no distractions simply to reflect? No TV, no Ipod, no book, no company.

Walter Kirn makes a good post on how we value ourselves through the amount of attention we receive now. Is this really why I picked up blogging again?

True Courage

2006-04-20T06:35:00.000-07:00

Why eventually, the Iraqis will be able to successfully control their own country.

Iraqi Update

2006-04-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

To those of you as disenfranchised with the MSM coverage of the war in Iraq, I highly recommend you read this piece by Michael Yon. His take is and has been for a while that Iraq is in the middle of a civil war, and that this hasn't resonated with Americans because

"Our idea of a Civil War tends to be specific: Blue and Grey clashing across battlefields, linear chains of military and political leadership, specific goals that one side or the other fails or succeeds in accomplishing in a finite amount of time. Seen from the American paradigm of progress and finality, in an ideal situation, within a matter of a short time, one side wins the war, both sides sign a peace agreement, and time moves on leaving the rest for historians. Or, in a worst case, there is a stalemate and an uneasy peace is reached, but overt fighting ends."

If you want more than body counts to gather an opinion on the events in ME, keep up with his writing.

MSG Update

2006-04-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

We arrived at "The Garden" just in time to catch Jamaal Crawford thank the fans and apologize for the season "not turning out how we wanted to." A few minutes later, the Bobcats won the tip-off and quickly committed a turnover. The knicks drove up the court on a fast break and promptly missed a dunk. The Knicks scored on the ensuing possession and the Bobcats immediately called for a time-out. The pillow-fight had begun.

Our crew decided to head to the concession stand to obtain refreshments. We waited in a one person line for about 5 minutes, and then upon ordering a Bud Light, were informed that they didn't have any more, and Bud Heavy was our only option. Mind you the game had begun five minutes ago, but judging from her scowl, I was not going to press her on the issue. Some of our group promptly left in search of better beer.

We returned to our seats and there were under two minutes left in the first quarter. All in all, our concession time lasted upwards of a half-hour. We suffered through a second quarter that included another missed dunk by Eddy Curry, who seems destined to be the this generations Oliver Miller. I'm not positive, but I think he had a dozen hot dogs delivered to him everytime he sat the bench.

Relief came at half time where some talented kids performed for the audience. The first pre-pubescent girl scratched out a rousing version of a song characterized by seduction and flat notes. Inappropriate and gut-wrenching. The next kid jammed out on a keyboard while singing a song building on the caricature of the New York lifestyle. The crowd ate it up, just as Texans do to "Deep in the Heart of Texas." Afterall, anytime you combine beer and someone singing about your location, it's a license to scream and yell. The final contestant was a violinist. Wrong venue, darling.

The highlight came when the audience had the chance to judge the three contestants. The PA started the judging with this announcement. "Remember, fans at the world famous Madison Square Garden do not boo children." Only in New York are people reminded not to crush children's self-esteem at public spectacles. No matter though, the violinist still received some scattered booing.

The middle kid won, and I promptly left...wearing a Jon Starks jersey that had been given to us thanks to a corporate perk. On the way out, I walked past another fan sporting the Starks jersey, and I screamed and hollered, "Alright! Jon Starks is the best!" to his discontent ... probably because he actually paid for his.

Until next season!

If Two Terrible Teams Play a Game, and No One is There to Watch, Does Anyone Care?

2006-04-17T15:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight will be my first trip to "The Garden" to see the famed New York Knicks take on the new kids, the Charlotte Bobcats. I believe it's being tauted as the "Pillow Fight of the Season."

Alas, my desire to go to a Knicks game at least once trumps the inevitability of watching Marbury and Frances compete for the title of "Most Internally Destructive Duo." My major motivation is so that one day in the future when people ask if I ever went to "The Garden" I'll have a response other than, "Ya, I saw Joel Osteen there!"

How to Get a Roommate- New York Style

2006-04-13T19:22:00.000-07:00

I've blogged before about the magic of Craig's List, and it continues to produce with amazing results. We've gone through four roommates on the UES, and we're on the verge of dispensing of the fifth. Thus, it's time to usher in the sixth.

It's really quite a simple task. Take five minutes to take some pictures of the apartment. Post a few sentences about the apartment and magically your inbox is filled with all kinds of wild solicitations.

One option was Mike, but something tells me he would fail our illegal substance policy in the lease. "My name is Mike, I am inquiring about the apartment. I would be very interested if my current possible roommate falls through. I will be graduating in May from Fordham University with a major in communications. I am very laid back guy as I can also see you are. Just to give you a sense of my personality, I have worked at Sirius Satellite Radio and Fuse TV and am currently in negotiations with Central Park Summerstage for a job with them. If you have any questions, feel free to get back at me. Don't worry, you can ask whatever you want….I am the most laid back person in the world."

Put the bong down, Mike...

And then there was Michael - "I am a 27 yr old SWM with stable employment and a laid back personality. I would love to check the place out. My hobbies include running, reading , roller blading, and exploring new york city so you dont have to worry about a couch patato. I like music and good food. Played lacrosse in college and I still play every once in a while. A good social life is important to me but never at the expense of my roommate."

Something about the thought of Michael walking in with the full roller blading gear and neon biker pants kept me away from this one.

Next we had Phillip - "I am interested in the room posted on Craig’s List. I am currently living in a sublet on the UES. I like macaroni and cheese, the smell of campfires, and I think that people are unfair to Lindsay Lohan."

Unfortunately mac and cheese just doesn't do it for me anymore, but he's spot on about Lohan.

And finally we had Ana. "I usually stay at work until 6:30 or so, and then go to the gym. I work at the strategy department of the web design/digital marketing firm. I am also finishing my Ph.D. at Columbia U. so my schedule is pretty packed. Work at the library a lot. Also, I have my own free time schedule (going out, reading, etc.), and am very flexible. I am not from NY (I am from Europe), but don't have guests. When my parents visit, they always stay at my brother's place (he also lives in NYC), so no worries."

Sounds like a winner to me...

Don't Call it a Comeback

2006-04-13T06:41:00.000-07:00

So 2006 started with a bang and ended up fizzling out...what can I say. I was busy, eh?

I've heard all three of your calls to return to blogging. I can rest easy knowing that I will calm the anxious feelings my three anonymous friends have been exerting since my hiatus. Well I suppose it's time...

And for anyone who knows me, you know I have some more stories to tell including...

Crazy Italian Haircutting Incident
Moving Back to the City
An Intern from UT Posing as my new Roommate
An Intern from UT Posing as my new Roommate Bringing His Boss Home for the Night
The Creation of an Ex-Girlfriend (I'll most likely need to be drunk or high to blog about this one.)
The Civil War in Iraq (So maybe that's not my story)
A Mental Experiment on Harems
A New Job
Joing a Metrosexual Generating Gym Called "Boom"

We'll see how many of these stories I tell...but I suppose I could be influenced if my anonymous friends keep shouting for more. Furthermore, I need to begin to cultivate my blogging "skills" as a two year plan of mine begins to unfold. More to come later...

2006 Starts with a Bang

2006-01-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

After a day of watching football at a local watering hole, I came home to find about six of my neighbors' friends sitting outside of their door smoking and looking overly sullen. Apparently one of my neighbors (who I may have seen once in my life) overdosed last night. As far as I know, they're still waiting for the coroner to come pick up the body.

Land of Oz

2005-11-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

On Saturday I will be beginning a long trek to Sydney, Australia. It'll take somewhere around 22 hours of flights, but in the end, I'll literally be standing upside down from where I was. Plans include surfing, scuba diving, hunting dingos, and arm wrestling Koalas.

Be back at the end of November with lots of photos!

Being a Modern Girl May not be All It's Cracked Up to Be

2005-11-06T13:48:00.000-08:00

The New York Times recently published an article by op-ed columnist Maureen Down detailing the status of feminism in America, titled "What's a Modern Girl to Do?". For those unaware, Maureen Dowd is an extremely successful journalist for the Times and author of such brilliant quotes such as "the moral authority of parents who bury children killed in Iraq is absolute." To quote an article by Katie Roiphe from Slate.

Dowd pushes every statement to its most exaggerated form; her column occupies a space somewhere in between the other columns on the New York Times op-ed page and the political cartoons that sometimes run there. She is, at her best, a brilliant caricaturist of the political scene, turning each presidency into vivid farce. As a caricaturist, she has a fondness for punchy one-liners strung together, and for the one-sentence paragraph: "Survival of the fittest has been replaced by survival of the fakest"; "We had the Belle Epoque. Now we have the Botox Epoch"; and "As a species is it possible that men are ever so last century?" Her style evokes a brainier Candace Bushnell, whose oeuvre she frequently refers to, but it is given extra weightiness by her position at the Times.

A friend sent me this article and asked what my thoughts were. (On a side note, this friend has completely different political views than I. Even in areas we agree, we find ways to disagree. Case in point, we both thought Harriet Miers was an awful choice for supreme court, but completely disagreed on why.)

So the following is my response to her question (with slight alterations to improve readability/flow).

My thoughts are as follows:

Riding along with the women's rights movement over the last seventy years, and the more recent infusion of women's roles in the workplace, there has been a huge push for women to own their sexuality- from wearing pants, burning bras, or posing in magazines. Tired of the double-standards regarding men and their infidelity, women do not want to be sexually repressed. Unfortunately, in my opinion, we have ended up with a completely over-sexed society that is extremely profitable. Look at every advertisement from beer, to soap, to overstock.com, the average ten year old can pick-up on the sexual innuendos. Every star actress has perfect curves – name one normal woman in Hollywood and I’ll give you five beautiful actresses- every time. Magazine covers. Every television show. Every fashion runway. Radio shows. The astronomic growth of pornography. I challenge you to drive to work without seeing or hearing one sexual reference.

In the last 35 years, there has been a volcanic eruption of sex in our society, and 90% of which focuses on women. Call it feminism, call it women owning their sexuality, call it what you will- but this sex is making a lot of people a lot of money and as long as that’s the case, to quote Dowd, we will live in a “brazen new world where the highest ideal is to acknowledge your inner slut. I am woman; see me strip. Instead of peaceful havens of girl things and boy things, we have a society where women of all ages are striving to become self-actualized sex kittens.”

So now Maureen Dowd, an extremely successful product of the feminism movement, is studying the past, pondering the future and coming to the conclusion that this movement has had some unforeseen side effects. Have all of the struggles resulted in a narcissistic, complacent group of young women who suddenly don't see the importance of equality? Why would high-powered women molded for success turn in their careers to be full-time mothers? All are important questions, but I believe some of the answers lie in an area that is protected by political correctness.

About a year ago, the president of Harvard University suggested that it’s possible women have not flourished in certain science-based fields due to their genetic make up - as in to say that perhaps women just aren't naturally inclined to science as men are. And what happened? He was hit by a storm of angry women's rights groups everywhere. Even the most well known academic institution in the U.S. is forbidden from pursuing this concept.

In my opinion, we've reached a level of political correctness that is now hampering progress. We aren't allowed to acknowledge the simple fact that men and women are just plain different. We are not equal on all levels. I believe implicitly we all know this, but no one is saying it. I've never heard a single inquiry to combine the Olympic track and field so that women race against men in the 100 Meters. On the other hand, I doubt I will ever see any man in a birthing competition. It’s not bad and it’s not good, it’s just the facts.

Furthermore, I think women are now realizing that despite all of their advances, they're still not fulfilled. Instead they're saying, "Is this all there is?" And I personally believe this attitude encompasses not only women but a lot of Generation X and emerging in Generation Y. They're nearing the top of the executive ladder, and wondering if that's it. And with good reason- because to tie in the spiritual world- we put 90% of our focus on gaining status, money, assets, and the world's version of success, and it's not winning us over. For those of us who are Christian, this shouldn't come as a surprise. But for women, there is an alternative...perhaps being a stay-at-home mom isn't archaic. Perhaps it's not a step back- but rather part of the purpose that they are missing.

On another note, there is no common goal for the women's rights movement. They're in the workforce (albeit pay is still not equal from my understanding)- but pick up a copy of the Oct. 31^st Wall Street journal and it has a special section focusing on the top 50 women in the world to watch. They have the right to choose. The right to vote. It's illegal to even ask the question in an interview, "are you married" because that is considered discriminatory in that a company is less likely to hire a newly married woman who is likely to have children. All to make a point, while several small brush fires exist, there is no raging fire for the women's movement to attack.

Dowd writes that if women who do not continue pursuing the idea of equality, that in 30 years, "It's easy to picture a surreal familiar scene when women realize they bought into a raw deal and old trap. With no power or money or independence, they'll be mere domestic robots, lasering their legs and waxing their floors - or vice versa - and desperately seeking a new Betty Friedan." It will never happen. Ever. The flood gates have been opened, and they will not be closed for women to make their mark on the world and to self-actualize themselves however they see fit. Dowd will never understand those women that do not choose to at least try and fight their way to the top and instead decide to be mother's, nurses, secretaries. She's been on the opposite side of the spectrum for too long- and judging from the tone of her article, I believe she resents this type of attitude.

As always- comments are welcomed here.

Autumn in New England

2005-10-30T16:17:00.000-08:00

I've pondered renting a car and driving around the Northeast during the Fall. Fortunately for me, a few of my friends had the same idea and took the initiative to actually do something about it. So on Saturday, we hopped in the Dodge Neon, back ever so softly in a car (it's kosher in New York...), and then made our way out to the country.

Note that the pictures were all taken at a 5 megapixel setting. You can click the pictures and then save the full version if you'd like.

Our first stop was at a winery and an apple orchard. I ate three apples in the process of picking them all. New Jersey in the fall is stunning.

We pulled off on the side of the road just whenever we found a great spot for pictures. The clouds were finally starting to break at this point, making for some extremely cool pictures.

Afterwards we headed to Tarrytown- where Washington Irving wrote The Legend of Sleepy Hollow about the headless horseman. We walked by Phillipsburg manor, which according to a Historic Hudson Valley site, "is a late 17th/early 18th-century milling, farming, and trading complex owned by an Anglo-Dutch family of merchants...and operated by enslaved Africans. Historically, the site is of particular interest because of the size of the enslaved community (23 slaves on a 52,000 acre manor) and the highly developed nature of this 18th-century commercial property."

Then we wandered through one of the creepiest cemeteries I've seen. There were burial homes that dwarfed my apartment. There was a row of mausoleums built into the side of a hill (as seen below). Washington Irving, Andrew Carnegie, William Rockefeller, Samuel Gompers and a host of others were buried in the cemetery (although we didn't find any of them as we came after closing with out any map). Instead, we simply roamed the dead and marveled at their burial pieces.

Water Woes

2005-10-30T15:50:00.001-08:00

In the last month, we've had record amounts of rain in the New York area. During my last post, little did I know I was at the beginning of an 8 day rain that would drop over ten inches of rain in the city. In the end, the leaks in my bedroom turned into a deluge of leaks- over 14 in my room. Every bucket, pot, and pan I owned was collecting water. Water was to the point of leaking out of the electrical sockets in my fan. Absolutely miserable.

At the end of the 8 day rain I had a very serious face-to-face conversation with my landlord. He promised it would be fixed. After some research into New York real estate law, I decided I had had enough. I sent him a certified letter saying enough was enough, and he had until a specific date to fix it.

After the rain, I called my landlord every single day, trying to follow-up with the status of my roof (Note- He never called once to explain any kind of repair). He promised again the leak would be fixed.

Six days later, the rain returned and so did the leak, and finally- I lost my mind. I reported my landlord to the local authorities...And it appears as if he finally decided to start listening.

The next morning he not only received my certified letter telling him to get his act together, but the local authorities had paid him a visit. Our conversation proceeded something as follows.

-Hello Robert, it's Dan Sullivan in 4a.
-Hello Dan.
-How are you Robert?
-Not too great because apparently I'm not doing a damn thing to fix your roof!
-You know Robert, the only way I can measure how much work you've done to fix my roof, is to measure how many leaks are in my roof, and I have 14 leaks. You've never called me to confirm someone is on the roof. You've never sent me a note confirming you're fixing my roof.
-Well sometimes these things aren't fixed on the first try, sometimes it takes several rounds to fix these old roofs. Besides, all of the roofs on the apartments next to you are leaking.
-Robert, you don't get the point. I do not care about how many leaks you have to have repaired. That's your job and what you get paid to do. I signed a lease expecting an apartment without leaks. I have not received that. I reported to you months ago that there was a leak, and it was never fixed. Understand this Robert, our next conversation will be about impairing the lease. You and I both know that this apartment has been reduced in value when one of the bedrooms is completely inhabitable.

Three days later, it rained again. My roof leaked again. He says he's fixed it, again.
If it rains in the next leak, I'm going to walk into his office and we're going to hammer out a new price for the apartment. If he doesn't offer a break on the rent, then I'll be doing one of two things:
1) Paying my rent to an independent third party who will only pay the landlord in the event the roof (and my ceiling) is completely repaired.
2) Hire my own contractor to repair the roof and removing the money from the rent.

I'm finally numb to the situation. If it comes down to this, there's a good chance it will end up in small claims court. Maybe it will be on People's Court and my grandpa will see me on TV, but I suppose it is the right of the tax payer to pursue this avenue when pushed so far.

A Second Piece of Bad News, Far Less Tragic However

2005-10-08T20:18:00.000-07:00

It's raining in New York. The forecast predicts rain in New York for the next 5 days. As some of you may remember, the last major rain led to several leaks in my bedroom. While my landlord assured the leak had been fixed...it is very apparent it has not.

GRRRR...evil rain drops.

Me doth predict electrical fires...

Tonight's Bed

Tragic News

2005-10-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

This morning one of my new roommates from Alabama woke up to find some tragic news. His brother was killed in a car accident this morning. Both he and my other roommate have flown back to Mississippi to be with family- any prayers you have for him would be appreciated.

At some point I would like to expound upon my reaction / emotions to the situation, along with my observations of the human reaction to death, but for now, I only see it appropriate to pray for the family and loved ones.

My New Friends, Clarence, Rosie, and The Big One

2005-10-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

ALmost anyone who works in the "Office Space" environment has the moments when they think they're losing their mind. For me, this has been happening more and more frequently. Not because of the content of my work, but because there is thirteen of us sitting at a conference room table, and you can't swivel your chair without running into your neighbor. It looks like someone dumped a gigantic pile of black spaghetti on our table due to the amount of ethernet wires, power cords, and phone cords. So occasionally, we all get a bit mental- and it was my turn today.

This morning I purchased to 160 GB hard drives to store some databases our team has been working with. This left us with a predicament - we had three hard drives that were the exact same that 11 people would share - obviously this could lead to some confusion. I took the lead and started calling my hard drive "Rosie." After a few queer stares, people on the team caught on and eventually we had named all three hard drives...Rosie, Clarence, and The Big One (which ironically is the same size as the others).

So now it's not uncommon to hear at the table, "Plug in Rosie! Is Clarence free? Put it on the Big One!" Anything to stay entertained I suppose...

Panhandler Reviews II

2005-10-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

A while ago I wrote a post called "spare change" detailing the underground arts of America's top panhandlers. Since then I've been able to observe a whole new lot of beggers, singers, dancers, and artists. As before, I will be using the "Street Performance Ranking System" looking at the panhandler's creativity, appearance, performance, and the pity factor.

Motown Underground
While waiting underneath Port Authority for the E train, four black guys with a keyboard, an electric guitar, and an amp decided it was time to put on a show...
Creativity: (3 Points) No obscure instruments, no cool costumes, no gimmick...where's the hook?
Appearance: (7.5 Points)These weren't your typical panhandlers...their clothes were clean, no urine stains, no gritty fingernails, clean hair. But they do get added point for their second lead singer. No taller than 5'1", but with at least 30 inch biceps whearing a musle tank top, work out gloves, stone washed pleated jeans, oversized son glasses, and at least a full can of Dapper Dan on his head- the essence of cool (in 1989).
Performance: (10 Points) These guys were professionals, and they knew how to work a crowd. The aforementioned meathead had a voice much like that of all of the Bee Gees, or the seventies in general - extremely high. The other lead singer needed no microphone- his baritone voice resonated throughout the subway station, and both men only sang songs with some classic soul. Pretty impressive when the audience begins to dance and clap along.
Pity Factor: (2X)It's tough to feel any pity for guys passing out business cards inbetween songs, but they were easily worth my dollar.
Total Score: (41)

Chieftan Eagle
On the transfer from the E train to the 6 at 50th and Lexington, in the one corner you're always guaranteed to find somebody doing something...in this case it was a Native American (presumably) with an amp, pre-recorded background music, and an instrument I won't even pretend to know, just picture minituraized organ pipes that one blows into and it sounds like the wind blowing at different tones.
Creativity: (8 Points) Any time I stop and think, "What the hell is that?" then you're probably doing something right.
Appearance: (3 Points) You can't win me over with just jeans and a pull-over. Not anymore- I've been here to long and expect more than that. But the long pony-tail hair was a plus.
Performance: (3 Points) When I first was walking up the pathway, I heard the Eagles "Hotel Calirfornia" intro, and it sounded too perfect to be any panhandler. Further up on my approach, I realized he was playing the song track without words, and then he jumped in with his miniture wind blowing organ machine rather than actually singing the words. It was painfully obvious that he had never actually heard the song before, and was playing off of sheet music. Not even some kind of dance to boot...
Pity Factor: (1.4 Points) I've always had a problem with this location for panhandlers. I understand the draw- plenty of space and plenty of traffic. But the problem is no one will stop no matter how good the act is, because it's only half way to rhe subway - you can't stop because you might miss your train, and even if you did stop, you'd just be getting in everyone's way if you did. In other words, I don't have time to pity anyone if I can't actually take in their performance, and it just can't be done here.
Total Score: (19.6)

The Fourth Tenor
Creativity: (7 Points) Only because it was something I have never seen before in all my life, a skinny Asian opera singer (playing the keyboard no less).
Appearance: (5 Points...by default) I was too stunned to really take note. I mean, I'm no opera connosseiur, afterall, the only opera I've been to was in 6th grade and all I remember was someone singing Figarro over and over. I suppose I've always associated opera singers with overweight caucasaians.
Performance: (7 Points) Again, I'm out of my element. Do opera singers normally sing with keyboards? I couldn't understand anything he sang, and I think that's the way it's supposed to be.
Pity Factor: (2.4X) Really, this guy was obviously born with the deck stacked against him. Not fat, not Italian, and I highly doubt he has a name that's mass marketable. Imagine- José Carreras, Plácido Domingo, and Xian De Ning (which by the way was formed using my own name at this website).
Total Score: (45.6)

Vinnie Van Gogh
While on the C train, Vinnie Van Gogh entered into my train with a set of canvases made from cardboard boxes, and a black marker.
Creativity: (8 Points) He offered to draw my portrait, which I politely declined (and he politely gave me the long awkward stair). I doubted anyone would bite on his sales pitch, but one gentleman at the end of car did...who knew.
Appearance: (10 Points) Extremely, extremely dirty. Gives new meaning to the phrase "starving artist."
Performance: (6 Points) Tough to judge this one- I glanced at one of his previous works which looked a lot like scribbles, but I'm pretty sure I recognized a face somewhere in the madness. His one customer had to exit at the next stop, and gave him a buck anyway. So he made a buck and didn't use one of his canvases, I guess it works.
Pity Factor: (2.5X) You know when your friend's really bad at something, and you search for any compliment you can give that's not a blatant lie, so you throw out something like "Really unique style!" or "Couldn't have done it better myself..." and "I've never seen anything like that before!" I imagine this guy has heard a lot of these lines in his life.
Total: (60 Points)

Expanding and Shrinking

2005-09-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

It's certainly no news that I'm getting fatter, but I was very surprised to learn I'm also shrinking. For the first time in the last 8 years, I purchased pants with a length of 30 inches as opposed to 32.

I'm also up to 180 pounds. To give you some perspective, I entered into college at 155 pounds. Over the last four years, my body has a annualized growth rate of 3.81%. At that rate, at the age of 53, I'm going to weigh 553 pounds, and when I turn 83, I'll weigh 1,167 pounds. If I continue shrinking at the rate of 2 inches every 8 years, I'll be about 4 ft and 10 inches (and over a 1,000 pounds).

Things are not looking good.

For those who still care

2005-09-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

It's been a wild and crazy month since my last post- and I have updates that should include the following:
- Two new unemployed roommates from the University of Alabama
- Watching Agassi lose to Federer at the US Open Finals
- The sign up process of my new growth group (8 women and 2 men so far)
- A 3 month extension of work in DC
- And most importantly, it appears as if I am going to be an uncle for the first time! My oldest brother and his wife are expecting their first child in June. A huge congratulations to him for continuing the Sullivan line (legitimately for once...). My only question is, if it's a girl, will her middle name be "Doak?"

Golf, Jaywalking, and Camp Casey...

2005-08-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

While taking a "Flex Friday," in the city, I decided I'd clean up my golf game and check out the Chelsea Piers Golf Club. I purchased a $20 card that alotted me 80 during peak time, 121 during off-peak hours. The coolest part of the driving range is that the tee on the turf retracts after taking the ball off, and extracts with a new ball...a fat golfer's paradise- minimal effort required.

After teaching a painful session on how to shank shots, I headed back to 14th street and walked cross-town when I ran into this: "Truck Kills Woman, 86, as She Crosses West 14th Street." A crowd gathered, and I assumed my role as a rubbernecker. A woman was lying in the street, dead, with a sheet laid on top. A sympathetic bystander hollered, "What's to see, it's just a f****d up woman!" No awards for class were handed out at the scene.

So I moved on with my walk, where I entered Union Square - which I would describe as an area mainly consisting of people who refuse to stay within the norm, and thus by being different, they've developed a new "norm." A people watcher's Eden. A group in suits were offering people the chance to throw a football through a hoop being held above someone's head. I assumed it was a religious organization, and declined an invitation to show off my quarterbacking skills.

Instead, I visited New York City's Camp Casey. It consisted of two tents with anti-war propaganda littering the outside with slogans like, "Stop the war on Iraq." I was unaware the war was on Iraq, but I suppose I was misinformed. Camp Casey was generally disinteresting, with only 3 or 4 attendants at the time.

By this time, I had had my fill of walking and people watching. I was also tired of carrying three golf clubs, which incidentally put me in the norm of being abnormal in Union Square.

Chicago Style Pizza and the Waitress

2005-08-23T10:44:00.000-07:00

Last week, three of my teammates, Hubie, The Pranz, and Nasa (nicknames that I've given all three), grabbed lunch at a local pizza place. None of the team wanted to go, but I was tired of Ruby Tuesdays and needed a change in scenery. To our surprise, we had a cute waitress and the food was good. My teammates and I started a running joke that we would come back more often so I could hit on our waitress.

And then I thought, that actually isn't a bad idea.

So on Monday we went back. I could tell the waitress was pleasantly surprised, and I requested that we sit at one of her tables. During our conversation I found out she only works Mondays and Tuesdays...so take a wild guess where we went on Tuesday.

So for the second straight day, we find our favorite waitress. She asks me how I'm doing and I say something to the effect of "fine" and return the pleasantry asking about her day. And then she slams me with, "Not good. My pappi died yesterday." In disbelief, I said "Your dad died!?" She said "no, my pappi is my dog," and I responded politely with, "Sorry to hear that." I noticed she also poked me in the midsection with her menus...kind of a weird thing to flirt to if you ask me.

Probably not the best timing to ask her out...but, who am I to care about timing.

After the lunch was over, she brought the check out and I put my card out to pay for the meal. When she returned the check, my team got up and left, leaving just she and I to talk. I got her name, which is "Oksana" (yes, like the figure skater), and we had a brief conversation - when I finally let out the line, "Would you like to get a drink sometime?" She smiled and said sure, and gave me her e-mail address.

So I got an email address instead of a number, maybe that's just what people my age do now. Regardless, I'm glad I did it, I suppose we'll see what happens next week!

Craig - My New Best Friend

2005-08-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

Most of the viewership of this blog has at least heard of Craigs List. For those who don't, Craigs List is an online marketplace that allows for people to buy and sell items within their own community. The website only serves as a board for posting items to buy and sell, and all negotiations are done either by email or phone.

Moving in New York can be a very expensive process. Probably the most significant difference I have found New York compared to Texas is the Broker's Fee that 98% of apartments complexes require the tenant to pay. Typically, the owners of apartments or buildings work with a broker who will find and sign a tenant for an apartment. Broker's normally charge 1 to 1.5 month's rent for this process. The owner can either choose to pay this fee, or to pass it on to the person renting the apartment, and in the majority of the time= the fee is passed on to the tenant. This can easily be a $2,000 ding in your bank account.

For self-proclaimed misers, there are two options:
1) Find an apartment where the owner chooses to pay the fee.
2) Find an apartment being rented out directly by the owner who charges no fee.

Where can you find these apartments? Craigs List. It's brilliantly simple. But the magic doesn't stop there. You can find anything on the site, and Justin (my roommate) and I have done just that.

Without further adieu- my tribute to Craigs List.

Roommates: Within 24 hours of posting, we had already secured two roommates.

Apartment: No fee and an incredible deal.

Rug: We were able to buy this rug (originally over $300) for $100. Apparently the seller had decided to move back in with his pregnant wife so he had to unload on some furniture...

Dustbuster: $5.

Air Conditioner: We actually bought two AC units off of Craigs List. Total price: $85.

Beds: The one in the picture was offered for $250 on Craigs List (mattress and frame). We negotiated for $100. The other twin bed (not shown) we purchased for $75. (Both met our requirement of NO stains).

To Craig - I thank you. To everyone else, jump on the bandwagon, and see what Craig can do for you.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Rudely Interrupted

2005-08-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

Most people like a chance to slow down, kick back, and relax on the weekend. I'm no exception, however my version of "kicking back" this weekend was a bit different than most.

I wanted to count my change. I had several hours to do it, and a couple of bags of change to keep me busy. But that's not all I wanted to do...I wanted to separate all of the quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies into their own stacks of 10 (afterall, I have to re-check the total count.) But no, that's not all. I wanted to take it one step further...the step that might put me in the category of clinically insane. I wanted to separate every Texas quarter I had and put in a separate stack for safe-keeping.

So I got humming.

An OCD'ers Fantasy
I was two thirds of the way there. I had over $85 in change and was preparing myself to complete my mission.

I walked to my bedroom to check my cell phone before I went back to work, and I noticed something rather queer. Everything was wet.

Stacks of High Society

The Perpetrator
It had been raining for the last 4-5 hours. A real thunderstorm for the first time since I moved to NYC. Apparently living on the top floor of one's apartment complex has some unforeseen difficulties.

Ok. I can handle a leak. As long as the rain stops, the Super can fix things up tomorrow...that is until the perpetrator made a friend!

BFF!
But if two was fun...maybe three would be better!

Three's Company

If you look closely, you'll notice the water resembles another commonly seen liquid. Or as my roommate said, "That looks like piss falling out of the roof."

One of the Casualties

So I'm looking forward tonight to sleeping to the sound of the constant drip...drip...drip.... As long as the entire panel doesn't crash though, I think I'll be ok.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

2005-08-10T17:59:00.000-07:00

While I still intend to write more thoughts on the deification of celebrities, in the meantime - I have a slightly more pressing story to tell.

The Good: Lunch today was incredible. True Mexican food. We had a spongy waitress with the thread-bare shirt proudly displaying, "Don't even think about it, because you can't get any." Well I didn't think about it until I read her shirt, and I'm thankful none will be coming my way. I asked her what was better between the fajitas and the enchiladas. Her eyes lit up, and she described how the chicken enchiladas with the green chile sauce were excellent. It was a good sale and I bit...quite literally.

I ate it all, and I felt good.

The Bad: At 4:45 pm, I was sitting in a meeting with the top management at the client site. We were discussing important details for the engagement, and it hit. My stomach dropped six inches. "Damned afternoon coffee," I thought. At 5:00 I returned back to my desk to pack up and catch the 5:13 shuttle to the train station. But that had to wait- I had a far more pressing obligation. After completing that obligation, I was still able to catch the shuttle and make the 5:27 train.

6:00pm: Email sent to friends on Blackberry..."My intestines are fried. I would commit very hanus crimes right now in exchange for immodium." Yes...this is what I use my crackberry for.

The Ugly: I duck-walked up second avenue, afraid to bend my knees. Next episode-7:00, 8:30 then 9:30. Damn all chicken enchiladas and their green chile sauce.

2005-08-10T05:22:00.000-07:00

While the U.S. is using dogs to detect explosives, Iraqi insurgents are using dogs as proxies for suicide bombers. Surprisingly, hard-line Muslim clerics are decrying this as an unacceptable act. How someone can take pity on an innocent dog's life, yet refuse to take a stand against suicide bombers who take innocent human lives each days is a mockery to the "sanctity of life."

And I've Moved Again

2005-08-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

If you're here, you already know I've decided to change servers. Why?

It's free.
I can put pictures directly in my posts.

And if you don't like it...tough.

Celebrity Deification

2005-08-07T12:57:00.000-07:00

After church today, a group of friends from Dallas caught lunch on the Upper West Side. The topics of conversation consisted of the following:

Mayor Bloomberg's re-election campaign, Governor Pataki's chances if he ran for president.
Old Dallas radio stations (everyone was from Dallas)
Spicy foods and hot sauces
Baseball
Photography (my friend's mother's inability to take a decent picture...she claims that she's just inconsistent)

The kicker - one of the people eating dinner was Jessica Simpson's trainer, Mike Alexander. So what?

We are inundated with celebrity deification. It's unavoidable. Checking out at the grocery store, you find yourself reading the latest headlines for US Magazine, Star Magazine, and People. On the TV you can surf through television shows like Extra, Entertainment Tonight, The Simple Life, TRL, and the Tonight Show. Entire networks are dedicated to following celebrity lifestyles. Shows like E-True Hollywood Story, Driven, It's Good to Be. Morning radio shows are advertised by saying "Join us tomorrow where we will have _____ on the show." Celebrities have recently discovered that there star power can easily translate to a successful clothing and accessory lines: Sean John, J-Lo, Britney Spears (considering Michael Jordan has done this for the last 15 years, it's surprising that designers have just figured this out.)

By the time all of the advertising dollars, clothing lines, cd's, movies, and magazines are sold, it's a hundred billion dollar industry. $100,000,000,000.00.

A firm believer in capitalism and free markets, I realize the reason this exists is because society has an insatiable demand for this. But I want to know why.

Why are we so entertained about Brad leaving Jenn for Angelina? (Note that I write "entertained" rather than "concerned." Isn't that enough to realize we've missed the boat.) Why do we care how large of a house that Matt Damon just built?

I suppose the question should be phrased as, "What need do we satisfy by following other people's lives?"

Give me some time, and I'll try to answer that question.

I'm Picking Up My Things

2005-08-07T12:56:00.001-07:00

And I'm moving to the Upper East Side!

I officially made the move out of New Jersey last weekend and into the Upper East Side (UES). I have moved into a three bedroom, one bathroom apartment far nicer than anything I expected to live in thanks to some interesting economics.

Three notable items about the move:

1) I rented a 12 foot Penske truck and was able to successfully navigate Manhattan for a full day. I can honestly say I didn't hit one single car...unlike the last time I rented a truck.

2) My roommate and I moved all of the furniture to the top story of a 4 floor walk up. This included two queen size beds, a couch, chair and numerous other heavy items. In one day, I imagine I walked up the stairs at least 50 times. But somehow, I have trouble walking up the stairs twice a day now. Can anyone explain that?

3) Craig's list - a heavenly gift from God to the internet. Most incredible sight ever. In 24 hours time, not only were we able to purchase two beds and two air conditioners, but we were able to find two people to live at the apartment - one for three weeks and the other until the end of August (which is exactly what we needed). Not to mention we found the apartment on Craigs list and we didn't pay a fee. When I post pictures of the apartment, I'm going to post an inventory of everything we've been able to purchase off of the site. (We recently added an oriental rug from a guy who left his pregnant wife three months ago, but then decided to move back home...he apparently had purchased some furniture while he was out and didn't need it now that he had moved back in with his wife. I know- too much information to tell the people who want to buy a rug).

Also, it's comical to note that I heard through the grapevine that my brother is moving to Australia (while not confirmed, apparently it's in the works). I was slightly annoyed that I didn't get a phone call from him telling me of the news. But that's when I realized I haven't even called my mother to tell her that I moved. And my mother just moved, and I really have no idea where to (although to her credit, she did tell me once). I suppose it runs in the family.

So You Think You Can Dance

2005-08-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

Well I know I can't dance, but I was surprised to turn on the TV and see my church. Yes, for those of you who watched Fox's So You Think You Can Dance have officially been to my church. The auditions took place on the 7th floor of the Manhattan Center, the same place I come to worship every Sunday!

Best Quote of the Show: After one rejected contestant from Julliard who performed what I believed was rhythmic gymnastics: "No one’s ever told me I don’t dance masculine with the ribbon."

Choose Your Cabs Wisely

2005-08-07T12:55:00.001-07:00

Most recently due to a sharp increase in my traveling schedule, I have been hailing a lot of cabs lately (probably close to 10 a week). I've quickly come to understand that cabbies tend to be an eccentric sort with tempers that would make Kenny Rogers shiver. But for those of us who are slowly growing accustomed to this lifestyle, crazy cabbies are not something to be avoided. In fact, I'd far prefer to ride with a crazy cab driver (who oddly enough has a 1 in 2 chance of having zero vowels in either his first or last name) than to ride with a calm, safe cab driver.

Coming in from DC this last weekend, I had the best cab driver I've had since I moved to NYC. I would liken his cab driving to the footwork of Mohammed Ali- always moving, always dancing. In total, I estimate that the cab driver cut off five busses, ran over three curbs, cursed four other cars, and had four near-misses with pedestrians, along with enough time to "cat-call" at two pretty ladies, and to maintain a conversation on his cell phone the entire time. I couldn't have been more pleased. (Another topic of discussion- cab drivers cell phone bills- they have to be outrageous. I think there has to be some sort of under the table deal with cabbie's cell phone plans...something where if they don't use up over 2,000 minutes a month, they have to pay an extra fine.)

Maybe because it's not my car, or that I'm in the back seat, but I have a general sense of invulnerability while sitting in a cab. Like Seinfeld says, "It's all quite amusing in the back of that cab isn't it. He (the cab driver) is flying around the road, doing 90 up a one-way, and you're saying, 'I'd never try that in my car!' It's all a huge joke...it's your life!"

In today's OpinionJournal, there is a good article discussing pedicabs in New York city. (I vaguely remember my brother telling me of a time he and my dad squeezed into a pedicab when they couldn't find a cab. For some reason it's a mental picture that still makes me laugh. I imagine some poor red-faced kid huffing and puffing down 7th avenue, heart about to explode, wondering how he ever got into this position in the first place, while my brother and dad attempt to squeeze into seats that would make a contortionist claustrophobic.)

The Purpose Driven Life and Gay Pride

2005-08-07T12:55:00.000-07:00

Rick Warren, the author of The Purpose Driven Life attended the Journey church service, and then had a conference at the Journey offices. Because I am a "Team Leader" at the church, I was given an invitation to attend and listen in on what he had to say.

In a crowded room of about 60 pastors, pastor's wives, and church volunteers, Rick Warren gave an informal conference. To be perfectly honest, I'm still not entirely sure what the purpose of the conference was. It was interesting to hear his story, especially how his life had changed since writing The Purpose Driven Life. Considering he heads a church of 80,000 people, it was almost like listening to a CEO of a powerful company.

According to Rick, the book is the best selling book over the last two or three years, and I think he may have said the best selling book in United States history, but don't quote me on that. The book has obviously brought in boo-koos of money, and suddenly he had some of America's most powerful (Michael Dell, Jack Welch, and the White House) calling him.

He said that he and his wife felt that God did not want them to change their lifestyle, and they haven't. He hasn't bought any sort of vacation home or nice new cars. He still lives in the same house as he did before. He's paid back his salary to the church for the last twenty-five years, and no longer takes compensation. His wife has set up an organization to help with the battle against AIDs in Africa, along with two other organization's I can no longer remember the name. Finally, to top it all off, he now tithe's 90% of the money he makes from the Purpose Driven revenues (of course not to his own church, because that would be slightly self-defeating in trying to make a point that he's not using all of the money for his own benefit).

After the conference had finished, I was walking across town in order to meet up with a friend to go to the Yankees-Mets game, however in my path was something I did not expect...the Gay Pride parade. While sparing most details, the one part I would prefer to draw attention to is that nearly half of the "floats" in the parade were churches, and the majority of the participants were wearing stickers saying, "God made me queer." Considering I have not been able to reconcile what a homosexual's role in the church should be, I was and am still unsure how to react. However, perhaps my far-more enlightened than I readers can offer their opinions on the subject.

Billy Graham Crusade

2005-08-07T12:54:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life, I went and heard Billy Graham speak. I joined another 80,000 people and headed out to Corona Park in Queens (my first trip to Queens since moving here) where Shea Stadium and U.S. Open for Tennis is located. The crowds were herded through the huge park, and I found my spot in the overflow area. After an hour and a half of music by Tree Six Three, Nicole Mullen, and Jars of Clay, Dr. Graham made his way to his special podium.

I was surprised at how captivating he was when he took the stage. For a man of 86 years with cancer, Parkinson's disease, and a broken hip, he was able to take a commanding hold of the audience. His message was simple enough: we're all looking for something. The majority of us have tried to fill that gap in our lives with at least one of sex, money, drugs, or attention, but none of it seems to fit. He made a number of references to pop-culture and MTV. In the end, he said there was hope, and that we could begin again in Christ. At the end of the message, Dr. Graham said that hundreds, if not thousands were about to come to the stage to accept Christ, and explained how to do so. In honesty, I didn't believe it would happen.

It was a message I had heard a hundred times where the majority of which no one walked to the stage to accept Christ. The congregation would sing through all four verses of the hymn, and maybe someone would transfer their membership from another church, but rarely have I seen new believers come to the stage. But just as Dr. Graham said, people began streaming towards the stage. It was incredible. I think the reason for this can be broken down into two reasons.

1) Lost people heard his message clearly. It's not a difficult message. In Christ there is redemption and a new beginning. But for so many churches, there are no "lost" people. It's the same members week-in and week-out. The visitors are people who just moved in the area, and are just doing some church shopping. But what Dr. Graham's crusades allows are people who might not ever step foot in a church the chance to go to a place without feeling intimidated and to just listen to the possibility, that there is something to God's story.

2) Faith. I have no doubt that Dr. Graham, and those he works with had complete faith that thousands would be saved this weekend. They didn't just hope that people would show up and listen. All to often as Christians, we put the contingency statement to the end of our prayers that if it's God's will, then let it be done, as opposed to truly believing that God will move powerfully. By adding this contingency, we feel ok when nothing happens, because we tell ourselves it was God's will. We've stopped expecting for God to move mountains. But I believe that Dr. Graham expects just that - that God will move mountains at these crusades because he knows it is God's will.

A Traveler's Life

2005-08-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

When I hired on to my job, I expected to travel approximately 60 to 80% of the time - a pretty hefty chunk. Like most, I saw the sexiness in being on the road and swallowing up all the perks. Just recently, I joined a project that will have me working in Washington D.C. five days a week for the next three months. Of course when I'm back in New York for the weekends, the most common response I get when mentioning this is about how cool and neat it must be to travel. I suppose it's time to put a real-world spin on the traveler's life.

So some pro's and con's.

Pro: I pay for next to nothing when I travel. People are often amazed by this, but to a traveler, it only makes sense. No person in their right mind would work out of town if they had to pay for items such as hotel, meals, or cabs. It would be economically unfeasible. Some might say that meals are a perk. However, keep in mind- a traveler is usually limited to the area directly around the client site, and directly around the hotel for restaurants. Even if a hotel has a kitchen, no one has the time to go to a supermarket to be able to spend normal amounts on a meal. Furthermore, the client has the expectation that if they're going to spend the money to fly people in town, they will work extra hard to be worth the value. Wasting time searching for moderately priced restaurants is a luxury traveler's cannot afford.
Con: Room service is the unhealthiest food I've ever eaten...and I can't help but order an appetizer each time I do it. I think I'm worried that I won't be full, but I always have to get that extra something.

Pro: You can get a lot of work done...because you can't do the things you would normally do at home.
Con: You can't get the things done at home you need to, because you're always working. No laundry, no cleaning, no lounging on the couch in your underwear...oh wait...that you can do.

Pro: You get to go and stay places that you would otherwise not go. In the last year I've spent time in Orlando, Phoenix, Lynchberg VA, DC, Stamforad and Danbury CT. Furthermore, you rack up the bonus points in hotel miles, AMEX points, and frequent flyer miles. And of course the more points you rack up, the more upgrades to first class/nicer hotel rooms you receive.
Con: It's difficult enough to develop any sense of community in NYC. Doing it when you're only home for 2.5 days a week makes it even harder. You can only make so many phone calls. Trying to make any semblance of a weekly cycle is impossible. The time you're actually home you have to take complete advantage of. (That's why I am so thankful I was able to work in the city for the last 6+ months prior to this engagement. I'm finally reaching a point of developing relationships where I don't want to leave this place, as opposed to just staying as long as I can last.)

Pro/Con: A friend of mine made a good comment at lunch today. She said it's almost insane the amount of time we spend at work and with our co-workers...and that they aren't even the people she would prefer to be around if she had a choice. When you're on a client site, you have little choice but to spend 14 hours a day with the same people. One client site I ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the same two co-workers four days a week for two-and a half months (fortunately, I really enjoyed their company).

Just some thoughts next time the grass is greener on the other side...

Check out my pictures, I've put some new ones up.

At long last, I return

2005-08-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

As for my lack of posting recently, I've unfortunately been seeing the sunrise and the sunset at the same location recently- my office. Not to say nothing has happened over the last few weeks.

An Obvious Suggestion:
Require all audio and/or video devices on planes to be used with headphones. Most recently I sat on a plane to Dallas with one person playing a movie on a portable DVD player three seats to my left, and another person playing another DVD a row in front of me. It was as if I had one radio station playing in my left ear and a different radio station on my right.

An Even More Obvious Suggestion:
Curb your children on the plane. The same little girl (Note: she was not an infant) who watched her DVD on the first flight (I transferred in Atlanta), found herself sitting behind me on the second flight. Aside from a consistent kicking in the back of my seat, fondling of my armrest, and incessant crying, it was a great flight. To make matters worse, the dad was wearing a T-Shirt that said:

"No Vaccinations
Your Children
Your Right"

Of course it would be some hippie who chooses not to vaccinate his kids is the same guy who instills such respect and self control in his children.

The Most Obvious Suggestion:
Never schedule a flight out at 5:30am to an airport that requires three different modes of public transportation to get home. Not only did I not go to bed on Saturday night for fear of not waking up and missing my flight, but I didn't get home until 3:00. Total elapsed time: 9.5 hours. Actual flight time: 3.75 Hours.

And on a side note- On the bus ride home from La Guardia Airport, we made one last stop in queens prior to entering Manhattan. The last lady on the bus, (who to put it somewhat politely, had not skipped dessert in some time) ended up standing next to where I was sitting. Without getting into too many details on how we were positioned, I noticed some small liquid droplets on my arm. I knew it wasn't raining...and when I looked up, I saw this lady was covered in sweat, and was positioned perfectly so that it dripped directly from her face on to my arm.

Memorable Moments:
---------------------------------------------
While I certainly didn't plan it to this way, I found myself in Arlington Cemetery on Memorial Day. Aside from the heavy crowds, it was an awesome experience. I watched one octagenarian who most likely served in WWII carrying a jug of water and a tray of flowers, struggling to walk from grave to grave. The site of a WWII veteran still honoring the graves of those he served with 60 years after the fact has stayed strong in my mind.

---------------------------------------------
During my Grandpa and Grandma's 60th anniversary party, I asked my Grandpa one question: "When you look around and see the family that you created and the life you've made for so many of us, do you have an overwhelming feeling of pride?" His response, "You bet I do." I can only hope to say the same one day.

Two Weeks of Insanity...And One More Week to Go

2005-08-07T12:50:00.000-07:00

This week has quite honestly been one of the most frustrating weeks I've had since moving to New York. Aside from average 15 hour work days, I managed to hit someone's car with a rental truck (while 12 hours before refusing to pay the $13 for collision insurance), and miss every season finale of all of the shows I watch...24, Lost, and the Shield. Then on Thursday I received a phone call from my doctor saying I needed to come into his office in order to discuss my blood results. Not helping things, the doctor refused to speak about it over the phone, and I immediately assumed my cholesterol had hit record highs. Thus I spent the next 24 hours pondering how much time I had left, regretting the thousands of dollars I spent at Wendys while at college, lamenting for all the wonderful meals I'd never be able to eat again, all the while deliberating on who my pallbearers would be.

And the diagnosis...mild Hypoglycemia- kind of. According to the doctor, I don't eat regularly enough (despite the fact he told me to lose 15 pounds). Fitting, considering on Thursday I skipped dinner, and Friday I skipped breakfast which adds up to 24 hours between meals. (My grandmother's suggestion was to start drinking a coke in the mornings.) Most surprising though, my cholesterol level was "very good" at 167.

So in the end, despite a few dollars lost, a few shows missed, I feel like I have a new lease on my life.

Newsweek Creating its Own Stories

2005-08-07T12:49:00.001-07:00

For those living in a hole and are unaware, Newsweek recently ran a story claiming that U.S. interrogators desecrated the Koran by flushing a copy down the toilet. Since running the story, Afghan Muslim clerics have called for a Jihad against the United States, rioting has broken out and at least 16 people have lost their lives and another 100 injured. Now Newsweek is calling into question its story saying the magazine cannot confirm that any of these events actually occurred. (And it's worth mentioning that Muslims believe the Koran is the literal word of god and that no copy should ever be destroyed.)

Newsweek editor, Mark Whitaker, has this to say in its upcoming issue, "We regret that we got any part of our story wrong, and extend our sympathies to victims of the violence and to the U.S. soldiers caught in its midst."

Right. What a load of complete BS. This story infuriates me on so many levels.

1. Newsweek has chosen not to actually retract the story. In fact, Whitaker went on to say that, "We're not saying it absolutely happened but we can't say that it absolutely didn't happen either." A news organization's most important asset is its credibility. Without it, one has the National Enquirer. To run a story under the premise that it didn't "absolutely happen," unfortunately leads me to believe that the pursuit of profit has overshadowed both journalistic integrity and ethics.
2. There is a complete lack of accountability. People have been killed, and the Muslim world is further united against the U.S. A few suggestions- the journalist and editor should immediately be fired. The magazine should be held personally accountable for the damage caused in Afghanistan and to the families who have lost their loved ones. Unfortunately, the actual damage caused by this story will be immeasurable.
3. Considering the U.S. reputation already suffers tremendously in the Arab world, stories of this magnitude require a far higher level of scrutiny. Even a full retraction cannot reverse the global harm done to the U.S. reputation, as clerics are now assuming that Newsweek's "correction" is only in response to pressure from the U.S. government. And the fact of the matter is, that's a very legitimate response.

By potentially inciting a Jihad no longer driven by Islamic fundamentalists, Newsweek has put more troops in danger, and damaged the United State's mission of enabling democratic governments in the Middle East. On the heels of the 60 Minutes fraudlent document saga, a new's organization should understand that it must stand up to a higher level of scrutiny. Hopefully public pressure will build until Newsweek either releases it's source so the story can be completely revealed, or it will take ownership of it execrable lapse in judgment and begin to face the consequences of its inadequate editorial controls.

Political Quizzes

2005-08-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

I've just recently taken a few online political stance surveys (whose merits worth questioning) and have found the following results.

At Political Compass, I found myself as "Economic Left/Right: 1.75" and "Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: .77". When looking at their graph, it puts me near the very middle next to Paul Martin and Gerhard Schroder.

At blogthings.com, I had the following profile:

Your Political Profile

Overall: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

And finally, The Advocates Quiz has me labeled as a centrist.

Considering I've always just considered myself a conservative, I was certainly surprised by my recent political shift.

However, I can't put any stock in these types of surveys considering questions like:
"Carrying a gun is:

A: Taking responsibility for one's own defense, and admirable
B: Dangerous and sketchy"

I doubt anyone admires those who pack heat, and would be far more inclined to see it as "dangerous and sketchy." Personally, I'm fine with people carrying guns barring they're legal and have the appropriate licenses. So I choose C. Neither- This question is worded foolishly.

But, I thought I might hand over a few of my answers that might surprise you.

I voted- for legalizing marijuana...that corporations have more obligations than to just make shareholders money, I would not always support my country, whether it was right or wrong, against "the rich are too highly taxed", for spanking children, "that the businessman and the manufacture are more important than the writer and the artist," that pornography should be legal, and most surprising of all...I disagreed that "no one can feel naturally homosexual." (But I think it had a lot more to do with how the question was worded...)

So take the quizzes and share your thoughts!

Drinking makes you live longer-

2005-08-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

-or maybe that's only because smart people drink.

According to an article at Tech Central Station, a clinical lab scientiest suggests that the majority of positive health effects from drinking are perhaps not a result of alcohol. Instead, the author proposes that intelligence leads to a longer life, and that more intelligent people are classifed as moderate drinkers. In fact he concludes with the proposition that, "higher IQs of all those drinkers is the "fundamental cause" of their better health."

This is a generally boring article and is wholly unentertaining, but does use the logic that association is not causation. This same logic has recently put back in the public eye by economist Steven Levitt's book, Freakonomics. In it, he makes suggestions such as Roe v. Wade is the reason for the sharp decline in crime in the 90's, to why most drug dealers make less than a minimum wage employee, and why the Real Estate incentive program creates an inefficient market. It's by far the most entertaining book on economics that I've read (far better than the current book I'm reading, Collapse, How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed.)

Thus, don't be surprised as you see more and more 'revelations' regarding what was once common knowledge. And drink up while you're at, you'll live longer.

Battlefield Laundromat

2005-08-07T12:47:00.001-07:00

Some might call it the perfect storm of laundromat conflicts. Every dryer was occupied, and I had just unloaded all of my wet clothes into the roller basket. So had my competition- a robust man, early 30's, with about a 40 inch equator around the mid section, and a thinning set of hair. In other words, intimidation personified in a man's body.

There were three dryers on the verge of expiring, and four loads of laundry. You can do the math. We both staked our claim on a dryer, and locked eyes on the one remaining dryer. We both knew the consequences of losing- waiting another ten minutes for the next available dryer. I wasn't about to give in, and neither was he.

Two of the dryers finished and we immediately started our first load. The battle for the last dryer was about to begin.

I needed a strategy, and I needed it fast. I knew I wouldn't tell this guy that it was my dryer. I didn't have a 'winnable' argument, and wasn't in any mood to cause a scene at the local laundromat. Both of our loads finished at the same time. Any attempt to reason my way into taking the dryer would prove frivolous. Both our arguments rested on that we saw the dryer first, and if anything, his clothes were already in front of the available dryer, so he technically had it claimed.

So instead, I decided to bluff. Make him believe that the dryer was mine, and he would relent. I moved into position to intercept, and stood next to him, just close enough to pop his comfort zone bubble. He would know I was there...waiting.

We stared at the dryer timer. Four minutes. I focused all of my energy on just staring. Don't even let your competition know you're thinking of them. He had to believe that I knew it was my dryer.

Three minutes. I started to sweat. I imagined he was too...except I couldn't look.

Two minutes. He wasn't budging. I wanted to crack- to start looking at other dryer timers to make sure I claim the next available dryer. But I held out.

One minute. Finally, he piped up, "Maybe I'll just throw my laundry in the dryer I've already got. Ha. I mean what's the point in waiting." Yeah. That's right. I was his daddy...and he knew it.

Victory, my friends. Sweeter than the purest honey. Finer than the most expensive fur. And it was all mine.

And as a follow-up, I saw the laundromat 'loser' at the bus station a few days later. He might as well have bowed down to me. He definitely had not recovered from his defeat. I doubt he ever will.

All in a New York Minute

2005-08-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

A few things I've noticed over the last couple of days that I didn't necessarily agree with- or at least struck me odd.

A jogging mime in central park.
While walking down 42nd street, I passed a rap group, a street preacher, a beggar, and a protest group- all within 30 feet of each other.
An authentic Mexican restaurant playing 50-cent.
A multitude of dogs all under 10 pounds wearing harnesses as oposed to normal collars.
A multitude of people carryiing their dogs weighing under 10 pounds instead of letting them walk.
A multitude of people standing behind their dogs picking up their poop.
Rain on the day I don't bring my umbrella.
Clear sunny day on the day I carry my umbrella.
People wearing scarves in the middle of May.
A mother offering her adolescent son a cigarrette.
Two thugs on the subway screaming obcenities at each other.

24-0

2005-08-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I received one of the best phone calls any guy can receive- my friend had extra tickets to the Yankees game (with Randy Johnson pitching). Obviously this took priority over any work I could be doing; I packed up and met my friends to head to The Bronx.

The seats were on the 4th row behind the batter's warm up circle. Unbelievable. You could count the batter's nose hairs from those seats (not that I wanted to). Aside from the hefty drunk women sitting in front of us, it was perfect.

Now I've been to one other Yankees games since moving to New York. They lost to Cleveland 22 to 0. I was expecting a little bit better performance.

And the final score...2 to 0...Toronto. I've watched 18 innings of Yankees baseball, and yet to see them score a run.

It appears to me that the Yankees recent demise coordinates with my arrival in New York. Perhaps the curse of the A-rod is unfounded. Instead, maybe Steinbrenner has a bigger problem on his hands...the curse of the Danimal!

Just a Little Spittle to End My Day

2005-08-07T12:45:00.001-07:00

(Wednesday evening) After one of those days where nothing had gone right, I decided to pack it up and call it a day at the ripe hour of 5:00. With the bright sun recharging my mental battery, I submerged myself in the masses of people burning up the sidewalk. Twenty steps into my walk, I noticed a lady in the corner of my eye walking along side of me making a familiar noise. HHYYYYAAACHH. She was "hawking a loogie." PLOOOOTH. She spit...with the wind in our face...directly in front of me. Before I knew it, I had been white washed in flem. I stopped to clean off my glasses. By the time I had collected my thoughts enough to let this lady have it, she was twenty steps and forty people ahead of me.

So I suppose the best expression of my thoughts at this point comes from a rather famous set of movies.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing life's gristle,
Don't grumble,
Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistle]

If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...

Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]

Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.

I hope this isn't all there is...

2005-08-07T12:45:00.000-07:00

I just read an article from Tech Central Station titled, "Is That All There Is?" discussing how Generation X is pushing out the baby-boomers and occupying the higher profile jobs. The author states:

"We were told by our parents (and Billy Joel) that if we worked hard, if we behaved, we would achieve the good life. Well, we've achieved! Achieved!! ACHIEVED!!! and now...what?

David Brooks take note: Generation X has arrived, made its presence felt, looked around, and is wondering, "Is that all there is?"

It is a conversation I keep having, or talking around, with my friends and peers...They -- we -- have everything we could ever want in this stage of life, but still we search for meaning."

While I can't claim Generation X, I still find myself often wondering the same phrase, "Is this all there is? Surely there's more!"

Since graduating college, I have found that one of my most common struggles is that there is no longer a pre-defined next step in life. Sure, marriage, promotion, children are all things that will come in time...but there is no longer a timetable. Will I be 35 when I meet the love of my life? 45? 23 and 4 months? How long should I continue with my job? What overall value do I add to anything by doing the work I do?

But more than anything, my thoughts are summed up by asking, "Is this all there is?" At times, I feel shameful even asking the question, because as a Christian, shouldn't I be more fulfilled in life than non-Christians just because the spirit lives within me? And after having lived in a sea of agnosticism fed by a river of relativism for the last nine months, I don't see myself as any more fulfilled than the non-religious people I have met in NYC. What does that say about my faith?

Just as the author of the article concludes, I have no answer for these questions. What I do have is the hope that God is preparing me for something, that He has a plan for me, and that my worth is more than what I do for a living. Yet all too often, my tendencies toward egocentricity suffocate this hope. But somehow this hope always takes shape again in my life, be it by listening to a powerful sermon, observing a beggar in the streets, partaking in a casual conversation, or simply typing out my thoughts. And more than anything, I trust that that's the spirit not letting me go, or giving up on me.

So what's it like to work with New Yorkers...

2005-08-07T12:44:00.000-07:00

I'll tell you what it's like...

I recently rolled off of my last engagement. Since doing so, I have been speaking with other managers/directors in order to see if I can find an interesting project coming through the pipeline. I found one that both my experience and interests aligned with (in Texas), and the following is the ensuing conversation I had with the director:

Director: (Always spoken in a hurried manner) You're from Texas? I'm from Texas too. Where'd you go to high school?
Me: WelL I'm from outside of Dallas, I went to Berkner High School.
Director: Oh, ok. I went to Glenville. I hate Texas.
Me: Oh.
Director: Do you like Texas?
Me: Well yeah, I like Texas quite a bit.
Director: I hate Texas. What do you expect? I'm a 42 year old single Jewish woman. Texas is full of anglo-saxon white protestant males.
Me: Ummm...yeah. I guess you got me pegged pretty well.
Director: See, I could just tell. Am I right, or am I right?
Me: You're right, you definitely don't exactly fit the typical mold in Texas.
Director: But I'm not stupid. I don't say I hate Texas when I'm in Texas.
Me: Yeah, that's probably best.\

I've Been Googled

2005-08-07T12:43:00.001-07:00

One of the nice features of this website is I'm able to see if people are referred to my website from another site. Lately I've noticed that a few people have found my website through the search engine, Google. In fact, I can actually see what exact search led people to access my site. Thus, I've listed the searches that led to me being Googled today.

Addiction to Dr. Pepper
Beneficience + PVS
Middle East Life
Big Apple Section
Big Apple Records Ouch
(and my favorite) Buzzer Guard Number for Haircuts
Ashlee Simpson Haircuts
Arbitrary Absolutes

Interestingly enough, if you type in "Daniel Sullivan Blog," Google will not pull up my website.

Headed to D-Town

2005-08-07T12:43:00.000-07:00

Less than 24 hours from now, I'll be over 1,200 miles form where I am writing these words (hopefully drinking a cold beer while enjoying the Texas heat). So for those of you headed to Big Mean Bobby Walne's wedding, I'll see you soon. I am sad to say that Bobby did not take my recommendation to serve enormous amounts of snow crab at the reception, but I trust he's found an acceptable substitute.

And I'm also planning a trip to Bass Pro Shops on Saturday morning if anyone wants to join me.

And the winner is...

2005-08-07T12:41:00.001-07:00

Public companies!

According to today's version of the WSJ, regulators are planning to make changes that will lighten the burden placed on public companies by Section 404 of Sarbanes-Oxley. The PCAOB will likely issue further guidance in the next 30-45 days clarifying exactly what Section 404 requires.

SOX to be a Small Public Company

2005-08-07T12:41:00.000-07:00

Here's an article from Tech Central Station on some of the negative effects that the SOX act (specifically section 404) is having. This is something I've been working closely with over the last year, and the author makes some interesting points on how section 404 is discouraging private companies from going public.

The author chooses not to shed much light on the positive effects of 404 (which at this point, is still very difficult to measure). While I think his conclusion is slightly exaggerated, I too am anticipating the April 13th SEC hearing.

"Baylor Lariat Editor Should Seek New Employment"

2005-08-07T12:40:00.002-07:00

For the last four months, I've been regularly keeping up with the current events at my school through the online Baylor Lariat. In this time, I have been convinced that the journalism department needs an extreme overhaul. When you read the articles, you can almost envision the writer saying, "Thank God THAT'S over with. Who's up for George's?"

Thus- my top 10 biggest beefs with the Baylor Lariat (citing only examples from today's editorial, with the exception of #10.)

10. Misspellings: "Israeli-Palesitinian peace efforts stall." Yes, this is the TITLE.
9. Convoluted sentences: "the future of these ideas still seem bleak as three bills have been proposed at the Texas Legislature that would allow cities and to set up checkpoints at their discretion,"
8. Pre-Formatted Head Lines: Every editorial follows this motto, [Government organization should perform another service without any regards to who pays for it]. Today's editorial, "Lawmakers should consider sobriety bills."
7. Stating the Obvious: "Drunk drivers may still go unchecked on Texas roads causing potential harm to many drivers." Oh, really now?
6. Sentence Fragments: "Since 1990, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that reduction of deaths and injuries from drunk driving outweigh rights of private citizens."
5. Repeating Odd Phrases: As in the 4th paragraph from the bottom, "...but this bill is too important to pass up without serious consideration." And two paragraphs later, " A proposal to protect Texas citizens is too important to pass up."
4. Ambiguous Statements: "Fatalities have decreased but Texas still has one of the highest drunk driving fatalities ratings."
3. Ambiguous Statistics: "...checkpoints have reduced alcohol-related crashes by 20 percent." 20 percent of what? No other legislation had anything to do with the reduction?
2. Making Up Arguments to Support Conclusions: "While the rights of citizens to privacy should be a high priority, the safety of drivers and their right to enjoy New Year's Eve or the Fourth of July without worrying about is important as well." I must have missed that while scanning the Bill of Holiday Rights.
1. Socialistic Tendencies: Since I've begun reading the editorials, I cannot name one time the editorial board chose not to recommend more government action. It appears that the entire responsibility of the government is to spend society's money who is obviously too inept to spend its own money in any appropriate manner.

Whew...now that this is over with, who's up for George's?

For other commentaries on the Baylor Lariat, click here and here.

A Different Story from the Middle East

2005-08-07T12:40:00.001-07:00

This is a message sent out from a friend of mind who is a missionary in the Middle East. It definitely made me stop my work day and think about my own priorities and how I handle the sin in my life. I definitely think it's worth sharing:

The Ld spoke those exact words to me today. In a time of frustration and confusion, He finally slowed me down enough to do some sifting. Like that oily junk that rises to the top of a carton of yogurt (those living here know what I’m talking about), it ain’t pretty when the reality of your sin surfaces. But instead of scraping it off and trashing it, my first instinct is to push it back down and hide it so that no one else can see how ugly I really am. Which is precisely the very sin I’m trying to hide, this need of mine for worldly approval, to have all my ducks lined up in a nice, neat, and pretty row. What that looks like here is that I’m trying to study hard, invest in friendships, share Truth, be a “good teammate.” Now in and of itself those things are not bad; in fact, that’s precisely what I ought to be doing. But when I begin to find my identity in those things, when my motives for doing them become tainted (i.e. it shifts from being about His glory and instead becomes about how good and successful I am), then it is sin. It is sin because no longer is it for the purpose of Love, no longer is it ultimately about Him. I’ve warped the Father’s calling in my life to disgustingly point back to me, and how much I can do. Isn’t that exactly what caused the fall of mankind in the first place, this desire to be equal to the Creator and thus disobeying a direct command? Well today my eyes were open to the apple cores scattered at my feet: my desires for approval, success, vanity, which took the focus off of the Father and turned it to me. Of course the apples provided zero nourishment and only left me drained, hopeless, and guilty. Thank you, JC, that the story doesn’t end there! And it makes me hurt all the more for my friends whose lives do end there. For some, they don’t even see the apple cores representing the sins that they’re drowning in - they’re still readily eating from the tree. For others, they know that they wrongly indulge in the apples, yet desperately try to clean the cores up themselves with meaningless rituals that just add even more at their feet.

Father! That You will open their eyes, tear the veils in their hearts, and reveal to them what You have done through Your Son! There is a way to You, and it’s not through anything we can do. You are a just Gd, and demand a price to be paid for the retribution of sin. And the payment You require is far too perfect, too costly for any of us to obtain – Your people tried for hundreds of years and failed miserably. Yet you had a plan. You became one of us, and took on the very thing that has separated You from Your creation. Only the perfect blood sacrifice of Your Son would provide justification for this worldwide epidemic – sin. Sunday has come, JC! You’ve done it! You’ve provided a way to our Creator, a way that’s full of joy, everlasting life, and let’s not forget the part that You promised, (yet we so quickly forget) – a way of suffering. We are fools in this world! The foolishness of the cross has never been more true and evident in my life, until I started sharing with my friends here. To the world that is perishing, the message of the cross makes absolutely no sense – nonsense as my friend told me the other week. But to those who are saved by it, to us who have tasted and seen the act of redemption, restoration, and new life, the cross is POWERFUL. It’s mighty. Because of it we’re not only worthy to speak to our Gd, but we are adopted as His children. We share in the inheritance of His everlasting Kingdom. What can wash away this decaying flesh? These impure motives? This disgusting desire for self-worship? I tell you, NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING but the blood of our Ld JC. Because of this thing called grace, this overflowing fountain of mercy, I’m restored daily. And He doesn’t just clean up the apple cores, but replaces it with a feast of pleasure beyond our understanding. I’ve tasted that pleasure again today, and am reminded what this life really is about.

So I’m pring that I do live in this freedom. That I quit chaining myself to my own regulations, my own prideful “righteousness” which is really only me taking my apples (i.e. pride, self-worth) and trying to paint them pretty, hoping that somehow this will make me look good and right in the eyes of others and the eyes of my Father. Oh that joy and satisfaction from His fountain will overwhelm me and overflow onto the darkness that pervades this place! A verse my brother has clung to so tightly this past year and a half, which I too cry out, is “By His stripes I am healed!” (Isaiah 53:5) That is my identity. That is our message to this dying world

He is Risen!

2005-08-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

He is risen indeed! -Unless you're from New York, and you're not aware of how to respond to this statement. Some responses today at church-

"Yes, yes he is!"
"Umm...yeah."
"Hallelujah!"
"Okay..."
"Wha Whaaattt?"

But to give credit where credit is due, I did have several individuals respond appropriately. Give me a year or two and the entire congregation will have it down!

Schiavo Follow-Ups

2005-08-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

This is an interesting message that Chip Hodges, a first year med student at Baylor in Houston, wrote regarding Mrs. Schiavo's situation. He's one of the smartest individuals I've known, and I think he makes some valid points at times.

Begin Message:

Joel has requested that I post something from my perspective on Mrs. Schiavo's case that is currently "plaguing" our legal system. I preface all my comments to say that while it is flattering to be asked to post on the subject, it is also scary. I respect any opinion granted it is well justified and open to debate. I hope that you see my opinion or rather the framework with which I look at the case which is also up for debate. I am open to disagreement and mean no disrespect to any of your own beliefs or sentiments.

Having said that, I must say that this case is unique and with that uniqueness it has exploded into this huge fiasco that has consumed more resources than the recent explosion of an oil refinery in Texas City (Houston) that occurred yesterday. I dare not even breathe out side for the next week or so. The entire stock market moved south upon the news of a BP plant that has evidently exploded causing a huge amount of damage.

A little bit of a digression- Mrs. Schiavo's situation is unique because the state has power to assign "surrogate" decision makers. It is simple in ordinary cases because that is normally a husband, parent or child. Very rarely is there a conflict of interest. In this case there are two parties who desire the right to decide the future of this case. Parents v. Husband. This is very uncommon (and now Jeb bush also wants custody/ rights to decide for her). With appropriate counseling 9 out of 10 cases reach consensus by battling parties. This case would be avoided with a consensus. This case would be avoided with an advance directive. This case would be avoided if we did not have nasogastric feeding. This case would be avoided without technology of life support machines upon which she has spent years upon. This case exists none the less and we have not seen cases identical to this before now and the goal is to set a precedent, albeit a legal one, so that the haze that surrounds this case can be appropriately evaporated. If this case was in the north, it would not exist. If the Governor of Florida were not a Conservative Christian with a conscience, this would not be a problem. Basically, a "perfect storm" has collided and mixed in the perfect environment for a precedent to be imminent to decide what and how future decisions will play out with respect to end-of-life decision making.

I am currently in the ETHICS module in school and we discuss this case often. We have analyzed the case legally and ethically. Out ethics module is taught by an M.D. J.D. Ph. D from Harvard, Yale, Rice respectively. I am certain that our course director is hesitant to say his opinion due to the fear of being anti-life in a medical school.

Ethics would work this case up from the stance of consequences (death or PVS, persistent vegetative state, not life), the principles that one would appeal to is beneficence (doing good) and the justice that the patients best interest must be served first and foremost. Is PVS a good alternative to death? Certainly not for me. I would go so far as to say not for Schiavo, or anyone for that matter. Fifteen neurologists have confirmed PVS, and today some idiot says she has lower cerebral cortex function. He is stupid. A reflex is exactly as it describes. It just happens that some our reflexes are in our cortex where as frogs are all in their spinal cords. So he says, she has reflexes, therefore she has cortex control, therefore she has a chance if we learn to regrow cortex's. Idiot. We can barely teach a severe stroke victim to blink or lift their pinky so what makes him think she can regain a level of consciousness? She has no consciousness, and she has no life. That is my opinion. If the husband were not dating women and wanting her to slip away, I believe the courts would have been more quick to let him decide; unfortunately, he should have done that 10 years ago. He is the pivotal piece to the puzzle.

My response to other ethical appeals is that I don't believe PVS is fair for anyone. I believe it would be beneficence to let her die. I believe that is a good thing because I would scorn those in my own life that would be so coward to let me live like that. (I know that if the feeding tube was maker's mark you would disagree Joel.) (In fact, save this email if I am ever PVS without hope of conscious existence. Let me go peacefully to God. Except do it fast with morphine and don't starve me.) And as far as justice goes. . . I think the patient would not agree that PVS is life.

Lastly, the issue with the federal court and Jeb bush makes me want to be a democrat. Jeb bush pisses me off. He did not attend the descriptive session about PVS, but instead went and paid a Mayo clinic neurologist to say that she lower cortex function, despite there being 10 other doctors with the same information, no side bonus, who have reached another conclusion. Talk about right wing ethics conundrum. Break the law to save the pew - a little twisted. Then there is big brother Bush who I believe has good, smart intentions. He has said that he wants to "err on the side of life." He is smarter than anyone ever gives him credit for. If he believed that Mrs. Schiavo should live, he would say it. He does not, and accordingly he takes the middle of the road to avoid scrutiny. I think the numbers speak for the heart of the matter.

Also, NO FEDERAL COURT SHOULD EVER BE DECIDING ANYTHING ON THIS CASE. If a federal court makes judgment for Mrs. Schiavo, and it is upheld by a higher court, it will back states in a corner. Who pays for the treatment of individuals currently in PVS? States. So why should the payer not have control? Would you buy a house and forfeit your right to live in? Would you buy a car and make the monthly payment only to have Chevy tell you who gets to drive it and for how long? Matters involving state money are normally not heard by federal courts. Although I think that it sucks that each state is going to have to individually decide what happens (costing a lot of money), I still think it has to be that way or you will bankrupt state hospital funding with one case like this that gets out of hand as it has in Florida.

That is my 2 cents or whole dollar on the matter. I am glad the tube is out. I think it should stay out. I believe this is a religious matter at its core, and Conservative Christians normally have good intentions, but sometimes they are impractical and poorly justified. I have yet to hear a justified response to why Mrs. Schiavo has the right to stay in a PVS state.

Regarding the husband's intentions, I also believe they are good. I think he wants to be free to move on. I think that he has that right. I think the parents are kooks. But in the end, I don't believe the husband's intentions matter. Someone would have to prove to me that Mrs. Schaivo, or 10 other people would be willing to live in her state of PVS. Give me ten people, and I'll give you back the nasogastic tube and water. You would have a better chance of winning the Mega Millions lottery. Ethics appeals to consequences, principles, and virtues. Kantian ethics would slap GW Bush in the face on his comments of erring on the side of life in an effort to cover his ass.

"If one performs an action by inclination, then that action has no moral worth." -- Immanuel KANT.

Lastly, I would say that this is a hard public position to take as a Christian. I believe that better things exist for Schiavo and they are not on earth. I think life is precious. It should be saved at all costs. And then came life support. There is a duality of life that included good and bad things when it is persistent only because of a tube or a negative pressure generator lung machine. So casting stones in the face of "life" is somewhat missing the mark. I also guarantee that no Bible, pope, preacher, philospher, ethicist, lawyer, or physician could come up with the answer to any of this. It's case by case, consensus by consensus, and state by state. Life is so dear and it deserves the care with which we show in this case. But not 10+ years and millions of dollars.

Message End:

This was my response to Chip's message:
Chip makes an interesting point on how technology has brought us to the point where we as humans literally can choose to suspend people in some state of life. For 99.9999 % of history we have never had this option, so it shouldn't come as any surprise that this is up to debate seeing as nature has always made the choice for us. However, I'm confused on the idea that this legislation is propagating a culture of death. Assuming Chip has drawn us an accurate description of what a person operating in PVS, it appears there is absolutely no quality of life or hope for a medical solution in the foreseeable future.

But for most of us on this board, this is not simply a matter that can be studied through an ethical or political lens, but instead our point of view will be colored by our Christian upbringings. What is the Christian perspective? The majority would have us believe that because God would have us respect the sanctity of life, we should do all we can to maintain that life. And after all, what is the harm in keeping her alive, other than a few tax-payers' dollars?

But I also wonder, what part of life are we valuing the sanctity of? From my understanding, Mrs. Schiavo's heart pumps blood, her lungs breathe, her digestive system functions, and thus she can be considered alive. Is this what God would have us value and prolong as long as possible? Or is it what these involuntary functions of the body allow us to do - work, run, remember, plan, praise, cry, laugh, search, and imagine - that we value?

I don't believe God has called us to live life solely for the sake of being alive. God has engineered us to be much more than drones whose bodies enable us to have some sort of consciousness. Jesus said that he came to give life, and give it abundantly. While my prayer is that Mrs. Schiavo knew Jesus prior to her accident, I don't believe she'll ever be able to accept life in abundance again barring a miracle. Yes, of course it's possible, but let's face it- for whatever reason, people aren't being raised from the dead and the crippled aren't picking up their mats and walking off as they did in the times of the apostles. God does not want us to fear death, because Jesus conquered it for us. For that reason, I don't believe there is anything non-Christian about letting her go to finally meet her maker.

I am also in agreement with Chip, that I know of no one, including myself, who would rather stay in a coma-like state for 15 years, and then be kept alive at the remote possibility that medical science may develop enough so that a tiny piece of functionality may-or-may-not return to his/her life.

Who has the right/What's happening to the right

2005-08-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

Along with most of America who follows any of the MSM, I've been trying to choose which side of the Schiavo issue to stand on. My natural instincts initially lie on the "right to life."

Over the last twenty-four hours, I've asked my roommate (an agnostic), a Jewish co-worker, and my brother, Dave. My roommate apparently had attended a lecture on a topic similar to this, and said something to the effect of, "It's a very odd thing. These people can't talk. They can react at times and even laugh, and if you are to pinch them, they obviously can feel pain." I imagined myself lying in a bed for fifteen years, unable to hold a steady thought, but still conscious of all my surroundings.

My coworker tended to side on the choice of the husband, and my brother asked an intriguing question - "Are we playing God by letting her die, or are we playing God by continuing to let her live?"

While I'm still unsure on which side I stand on, I have a different growing concern- the end of the "small government" republican platform. In an online conversation today, a different co-worker made a comment on how he thinks that Christianity tends to deceptively drive weaker-minded people to side on with Republicans. My natural response was to respond with why I side with republicans that has little to do with my Christian faith. I began to write a small blurb on small government and free markets, when I had to stop and erase all I had written - In the last two weeks, congress marched into MLB world and put together a self-glamorizing circus regarding steroid abuse. On Monday, congress held session at 12:01AM to pass a bill circumventing several state's judge's rulings. All to say, it seemed awfully silly of me to begin preaching "small government." I am beginning to think that these relatively unprecedented instances of micro-management might be the end of the conventional "small government" Republican rallying-cry.

Just When You Thought You'd Seen it All

2005-08-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

In New York you can find the naked cowboy (who makes several hundred grand a year, if not more), blue haired women with pierced necks, and an overwhelming amount of quadraplegics waddling down the street. My point- it takes a lot to stand out here. But that's not to say people don't try.

I was walking my usual walk home down 42nd street doing what I usually do...pretending I'm in a NASCAR race and doing my best to not let a single person by me, while doing the announcing in my head. Weird- yes, but it's entertaining to me and keeps my mind off the fact that it's still freezing despite it's March.

But today's walk was a little bit different. While on lap 146 or so, I nearly ran into a Tucan (like the cereal box). It was perched on a man's backpack, but more importantly wrapped around the man's neck was the largest python I've ever been face-to-face with. And yes, he was collecting money for standing on the street while wearing a python and a Tucan. Scared the HELL out of me. Completely derailed my walk.

So when you stop hearing about the naked cowboy, and start hearing about the Tucan Python man...remember, you heard it here first.

A Little Housecleaning Over the Last Few Days

2005-08-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

Random Conversation I Didn't Want to Hear:
On Sunday, I was walking to church when I noticed I was approaching two officers in the middle of frisking a street thug. As I walked nearer, I saw the cop grab a couple small packages out of the man's pocket and immediately throw them on the ground. Was it drugs? Money? Needles? I slowed my pace to take in a little more of the scene. Then I overheard the cop say, "Alright, pick up you anal lube and get out of here." So freaking gross.

The Clock Gnomes:
Last night, I clearly remember looking at my clock and going to bed at 11:15, with my alarm clock set for 6:30. I could hardly hit the snooze button when the alarm went off...but I managed to do it twice. Finally I dragged myself out of bed and headed for the shower. After showering, shaving, and other morning necessary items, I walked out of the bathroom (with my glasses on this time), and what do I see? The cable clock showed 6:15. I guess there's no one to blame but the blasted clock gnomes.

Since When Does Snow Flow Up?
I went to work this morning at 7:30 and it was 51 degrees. By 9:30 it was raining snow. At 12:30 it was heavy wet flakes. By 2:30, it was snowing...up. Don't ask me how, I'm just reporting what I saw. I left work at 7:30 and the wind chill was -2 degrees.

Recent Must Reads:
A Month of Good News in Afghanistan When you're tired of only reading about the bad news.
What Became of the CIA -Perhaps it's time for a serious overhaul.
Kausflies - A little bit of everything.
New York 'Jittery' as Prison Releases Martha Stewart - I couldn't have said it better.

Fired Up

2005-08-07T12:34:00.000-07:00

While Linksys and Sprint have caused dangerous spikes to my blood pressure, it was only a sharp pain that didn't last. But with New Jersey Transit, it's a dull pain that lays directly underneath the skin. It's that itch on your back in that spot you can't ever scratch. It's the rock in your shoe that's too much trouble to stop and take out, so you just deal with it.

Starting off, NJ Transit is consistently inconsistent. If it were always on time, I could plan accordingly. If it were always late, I could plan accordingly. But instead, it's always a crap shoot. So if I choose to leave early to account for the train, invariably I show up thirty minutes early and have to kill time. If I aim to be on time, I'll arrive thirty minutes late.

A few examples from the last three days at work.
Monday: I leave at 7:40 in the morning, I arrive at 8:20. I arrive at the bus station at 5:45, I arrive home at 7:15.
Tuesday: I leave at 8:05 in the morning, I arrive at 8:20. I arrive at the bus station at 6:00, I arrive home at 7:15.
Wednesday: I leave at 7:55 in the morning, I arrive at 8:20. I arrive atthe bus station at 6:15, I arrive home at 6:45.

But of course, when one lives in a tri state area of 12 million people, you have to expect traffic jams, right? Of course there's going to be a heavy variance in the numbers. So be it, I'll squeeze a few drips of tolerance out of my impatient body.

But, the problems only begin with the inordinate amount of delays.

Inexcusbale Problem #1: Inaccessible help. Several times, in the late evenings, I've walked through the entire terminal searching for a simple answer. Where is my gate? Something that's not heavily advertised is that individual gates move throughout the evening and night. For Hoboken, the gate switches at 10:00, 1:00, 2:00, and I don't know past that. Also, at this time of night, no ticket gates are open, and no one mans the help desk- it's every man for himself. I assure you, that you don't want to ask any random stranger you see on the street either. You have a better chance of scoring rocks than finding a correct answer.

Inexcusable Problem #2: Missing busses. I don't know where they put them, but I know it when I can't find them. Several nights I've sat in the terminal for over an hour waiting for a bus to show up. In the worst instance, a bus was sitting outside of our gate completely shut off. After about forty-five minutes, the bus driver awoke from their nap, turned on the bus and let the passengers in.

Inexcusable Problem #3: Irresponsible drivers. One Sunday monring, I arrived at the bus stop where one lady was already waiting. I overhead her on the phone mention she had been waiting for twenty minutes already. Two separate busses finally arrived, and our bus (the 126) had arrived the second in line. She walked towards the 126 when the first bus pulled back into the street, and the 126 pulled up another 40 feet to the stop. I walked on the bus, and the driver shut the door and slammed on the gas. The last thing I saw was the lady running aside the bus screaming at the top of her lungs. Later in the drive he accused two different passengers of not paying and proceeded to argue for the next five minutes, while waiting passengers stood in the cold waiting for the driver to open the door.

Maybe it's me just being a disgruntled former vehicle owner, but I don't think I'm alone when I say that Jersey Transit deserves a well earned spot in corporate hell.

Getting a Little Hotter

2005-08-07T12:33:00.001-07:00

So I have a bone to pick with Cisco, because they're the owners of the ever-popular Linksys routers for the internet. I have never met a person to this day who found setting up a wireless network a synch. I would think the technology at this point would've evolved into a more user-friendly version, but that must be at least another generation of wireless routers away.

To give you some background, I have a general understanding of wireless technology. I've helped set up three different wireless networks, most recently my father's in his apartment over the summer. I've gone through Linksys support too, and know the majority of their 'tricks' using the command prompt and playing with all of the different "ipconfig" options. I sold computers and wireless accessories for a summer during college, so I understand the lingo and the difference between the routers and firewalls within them. All to say, I may not be a network administrator, but I've seen enough to have a general idea of what to do.

I set up my wireless network at the end of August, and had it working after about 30 minutes of tinkering. No problems, both my roommate and I were hooked up to the internet. Then mysteriously, my internet quit working. It's important to note, that my roommate's computer (the exact same firm issued computer with the same software) continued to function perfectly. Something definitely didn't make sense.

I tried using all of the tricks in my bag- reset the computer, reset the wireless router, unplug the cable modem, connect to the router and check the settings, release and renew my ip address, check to see if I had a functional IP address, but nothing was working. So I gave up, and called the Linksys helpline.

I knew what was coming too. I was going to spend the next thirty minutes going through the protocol some technician was going to read to me, while I would protest the whole time saying "I've already tried that!" I wasn't about to put up with it. So as they began their trained monkey speech, I cut them off.

"Ma'am. I've already tried these techniques. ...so please let's not redo all of this and waste time, what other suggestions do you have?"

She was obviously caught off guard, and not ready to quit reading to me. Her and I began to battle back and forth, to the point we were both entirely frustrated with each other.

Finally, she took me into my computer's system files and she located a specific file. She told me that their was a XP Hotfix on my computer that's not supposed to be there, and that I needed to delete this specific file.

I knew this was sketchy- one thing I don't mess with are the system files. So I questioned her:

"Are you sure I should delete this file? I'm pretty sure I shouldn't mess with these."-Me
"No, I'm positive this file shouldn't be on your computer system. Go ahead and delete the whole file." - Technician

I was desperate...so I did it.

"Did you delete it?" - Attendant
"Yep" - Me
::Click::

She hung up.

All of my network settings had been deleted. I had no internet. Nothing was accessible. I immediately tried to restore the files from the Recyble Bin. No luck, I was still missing '.dll' files. I tried a system restore, but my company software blocked it. I tried the XP cd's I had to restore the files. Nothing. I tried copying the correct files off another computer- all system protected. My roommate spent two hours putting my computer into safe mode and tampering with other code. Nothing.

I spent the next three hours speaking to my company's technology help line, where in the midst of losing connection several times (thank you Sprint) I had to re-explain my situation three different times. After three hours on the phone, I had to set-up an appointment on Sunday to meet with a computer technician. Finally, after four hours of work, he ended up replacing my hard drive, and doing a complete reinstall of all system software.

So I called Linksys to file a complaint, but there was no 'ticket' recording that I had ever called their help line. Somehow the attendant had either deleted the ticket, or simply found a way to hide it.

So thank you Linksys for your complete ineptitude in serving your customers. Thank you for offering a product that even knowledgable consumers find difficult. And thank you for not setting up a control system that keep keeps your employees accountable for their actions.

Camera Shy

2005-08-07T12:33:00.000-07:00

So I lied. I hadn't bought a camera yet, when I wrote the original column "Money is nice..." But, I had every intention to buy one within a day or two of writing that. A day or two turned into a little over a month, but it's official now. I'm the proud owner of a Sony 7.2 megapixel camera. So begin checking for photo album updates! And trust me, it's all safe for work.

Other notes/questions on my mind while watching television on Thursday?
While watching the OC...
Is the OC putting the lesbian twist in only to compete with Will & Grace?
How angry was Mischa Barton when she found out her part turned gay?
Why do melodramatic moments always happen on piers for rich kids?

CSI Las Vegas...
When did Grissom become the unofficial spokesman for Just for Men?

The Apprentice...
"I'm a nice person, but the minute you cross me, you're done!" - Apprentice contestant. Wouldn't that be the mark of a not-nice person?

The Ashlee Simpson Show
"I'm coming to an age when I want to make my own decisions, and cutting my hair is part of finding myself!" - Ashlee Simpson. Ouch. Tell me she didnt' say that. How old were you when you started choosing your haircuts?

"I'm in a hurry

2005-08-07T12:32:00.001-07:00

to get things done, I rush and rush until lifes no fun."
-Alabama

Last weekend, my brother, sister-in-law, her friend, and I entered into the lottery for $20 tickets to see Rent. I was the only one to win, and I could only secure two tickets. In a last-ditch attempt for everyone to go, my sister-in-law and her friend headed up to TKTS (a half-price ticket broker in the heart of Times Square) to try and purchase tickets for the night’s show.

After I purchased the two tickets, my brother and I maneuvered ourselves to the TKTS line. By maneuvering, I mean I elbowed, shoved, side-stepped, skipped, hurdled, slid, and eventually decided dodging traffic would be easier, so I started walking in the street. (In the end, I gave my tickets away so that Shawna and her friend could see the show.)

When the night was over, something became very clear to me. I realized I hate Times Square. Why? I’ve found that I’ve become so accustomed to the fast-pace atmosphere of New York, that I can’t stand being slowed down to the dismal speeds of the crowds in Times Square.

And because it appears that I too have become slave to the New York City lifestyle, I’ve decided to provide a number of short anecdotes that characterize the fast-pace lifestyle in New York.

A New Yorker with patience is as rare a commodity as an Englishman with decent teeth (or decent breath for that matter). And unfortunately, after six months living here, I am certainly no exception (impatient, not snaggle-toothed).

I decided to brainstorm for 5 minutes about anything I detest waiting on during an average week for 5 minutes.

Answering machines that don’t allow you to immediately press “1” to leave a message. Why do answering machines give you the option to only leave a number, or even for more options, but not the option to immediately leave a message?
Large crowds in tourist hot spots.
Traffic into the Lincoln Tunnel. How something can’t run efficiently for one hour during a given week is beyond me. They have the perfect set-up to always guarantee at least a 5 minute back up.
Over crowded escalators that don’t allow you to walk down the “fast lane.” If you don’t intend to walk down the elevator, then do the only decent thing and stand on the right side of the elevator.
The two minutes I lose turning my computer on and off. Extra security software…a necessary evil.
People (mostly women) that write checks at grocery stores. Especially if they don’t bother to at least fill out the date, name, and sign the check prior to arriving to the front of the line.
A sermon over 30 minutes long. The remote control has destroyed my attention span. I can no longer watch anything for more than seven minutes (average length between commercial breaks).
Lotus Notes automatically saves to a temporary database. I could save an average of probably 60 clicks a day if I knew how to change this.
The woman who interrupted my brainstorming session at the Laundromat to ask me about my job. I have 22 minutes to kill between loads.
Local elevators. (A short explanation: Currently I work on the 18^th floor, and my elevator bank runs from the 11^th to the 23^rd floor. Every time my team and I are in an elevator where 2 or 3 floors below 18 are selected, it’s considered a “local” as in a local subway line. If you’re able to go directly to your floor, it’s considered an “express.”)

So why is it dire that I get everywhere / do everything in a hurry? Well if I wasn’t in such a rush to move on to my next point, I would take the time to think about that.

If you’re impatient without taking means to increase efficiencies, you probably weren’t that impatient in the first place. My brother recently explained to me that he had memorized the amount of times the “Don’t Walk” sign blinks before the light actually turns. Yes, this is moderately deranged, but not uncommon. So what drives the insanity?

I have found that a large percent of the population has a long commute. Of the four managers I’ve worked under, three live in Jersey and none have under an hour commute. One has a commute that’s upwards of 2 hours each way. To give you some perspective, I live about 3 miles from my office, and it takes me 30 minutes both ways.

I presume New Yorkers spend on average at least 10% of their waking hours commuting. Of course it’s possible to work on the bus or the train, but even with the over-population of Blackberry’s, efficiency plummets. It’s too easy to sleep, read a paper/magazine, or zone-out listening to an I-pod.

I think another important factor is the work environment in the city. I imagine it's about as demanding as anywhere in the world; however, I’ll save describing this until another post (forget the fact I have no other work experience to compare this too).

Because there's little one can do to speed up a commute, and working at home only works so well, people must improvise:

During a “happy hour” session at 7:30, one of my managers asked what time he would need to leave to catch his train out of Penn Station. He responded, “Oh, probably sometime between 8:15 and 8:16.” No, he wasn’t kidding. He had it timed to the minute.
Both of my managers had their own offices on the 34^th floor. This required switching elevator banks in order to come down and meet with the team. Naturally, they gave up their offices and had the team move into cubicle space together to keep them from wasting time in the elevators.
I called to have Chinese food delivered to my house. Almost immediately it seemed, my buzzer rang, and they delivered my food. I checked my cell phone to compare what time I placed the order to the current time- 7 minutes. (Whether the food was cooked or not, I didn’t care. I was awe-struck by their speed!
I just learned that I don’t need to remove my badge in order to unlock the magnetic sensors on my floor. The sensors are at the exact same height as my back-pocket, and the key-card is strong enough that I can just back up to it and save at least 5 seconds a trip.

So yes, it’s a slightly maniacal lifestyle, but it continues to be a daily rush, and I’m in no hurry to go back to a slower style of living.

Just two good old boys. Never meanin' no harm..

2005-08-07T12:32:00.000-07:00

I'm standing next to an attractive girl at our "Growth Group Fair" at church. During a lull in the activity, I introduce myself and...

"Hi, I'm Merle." - Merle
"Kind of like Haggard?" - Me
"No. Like Merle Norman." - Merle, with a slight tone of disgust.
"Um. Oh. Ok." - Me

Turns out Merle performs in the broadway show, Rent. This makes me laugh everytime I think about it. How often do you think some culturally ignorant kid compares a Broadway star to Merle Haggard? I don't know why that's so funny to me, but it is. Just a microcosm of how things work for me around here.

In other news:
I've decided to take up fly fishing. But I need to buy the equipment, so if anyone knows anything about decent fly-fishing equipment, or good streams, please let me know.

And one last note:
After moving here, I changed my number to a Jersey area code (which reminds me: I want to write an article titled, "Companies that Deserve a Special Layer in Hell." Sprint is first on my list, followed by New Jersey Transit. If you have any suggestions, please forward them on to me.) Unfortunately, whoever/whatever had my previous number must have changed numbers on the fly, letting me exist a few seconds a day in what should be someone else's life. I average at least one wrong number a day.

This started out an annoyance, morphed into frustration, and has risen to comedy. As opposed to taking the common approach with saying "wrong number," I have started to try to get to know my predecessors, like Jamal.

After a month or two, I thought Jamal was most likely a homosexual crack dealer. Only men called, and I received mixed messages, like this one. "Wassup jamal happy belated bday this is lamar had 2 test 2 make sure i stell knew da #. But this is my friends phone but call me at ###..." However, a latter wrong number described Jamal as a "fun loving guy who's really into acting and singing."

Other predecessors I hope to learn more about: Shumar, Shawn, Jeff with Shermont Holdings, Shane, Jeffrey Igsbelt, and Histeyro Jackson (names I've collected over the last couple weeks).

Well I'm a Long Tall Texan...

2005-08-07T12:29:00.001-07:00

...and I wear a ten gallon hat."
-Lyle Lovett

Unfortunately this morning, I awoke to ½ an inch of slush on the ground. I decided as opposed to ruining my new dress shoes, I would wear the boots I purchased over Christmas. I expected a few stares/side comments, and my co-workers did not disappoint.

8:15- I arrive at work.
8:20- One of my managers says, “Woah Dan! Look at those! You’re a real Texan today! Those are wild!”
8:25- My manager asks me if I own a “10 gallon hat.”
8:27- I explain that no one calls them 10 gallon hats in Texas. I also explain that I don’t wear cowboy hats.
8:29- My manager wants to know where my spurs are.
8:30- I tell him I lost them at my last rodeo...followed by an explanation of why I don't wear spurs.
9:45- My manager asks if I ride bulls.
9:46- I explain to my manager that I don’t ride bulls.
1:30- I catch my manager staring at my boots. I let him know that he should think about purchasing a pair.
5:30- My other manager sees that I’m wearing boots. In mid-sentence he says, “"...Is the rodeo in town? Holy Sh*t! That's the real mccoy! I mean I've had those Johnston Murphy half boots but that's just amateur hour compared to this. In ten years at the firm I've never seen anything like it. Holy Sh*t!"
5:40- He continues to comment, “That’s some crazy a$$ sh*t! You know, if I saw most people wearing those, I would just get mad. But since you’re from Texas, I think its ok.”
5:50- My manager asks if he can buy a good ten gallon hat for about $30 dollars.
5:51- I tell my manager he could probably only buy a ten gallon hat from WalMart for $30.
6:00- My manager tells me to let him know next time I go down to Texas, so he can give me money to purchase boots.

The Lost Left

2005-08-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

This article written for the opinion page of the Wall Street Journal is an excellent synthesis of the problems facing today's democrats and liberalism in general. I was going to summarize the points of the article, but I got too wrapped into watching an awkward athlete attempt to become a ballerino (the male form of ballerina) on MTV's Made.

"Must Lie Situation"

2005-08-07T12:28:00.000-07:00

On occasion, I find that the words coming out of my mouth are completely different to what’s spinning inside of my head. I suppose that makes me two faced, but I prefer to operate under the assumption that extraordinary circumstances warrant ‘minor’ iterations from the truth. This is one of those cases.

I called a number of Hoboken taxi companies to set up a reservation for 5:30 the following morning. The only service that picked up the phone was Buscanero Taxi Service, the last service on my list.

Greasy Taxi Driver: (In an unintelligible New York accent combined with a speech impediment. If you’ve ever played “chubby bunny,” he sounded like he had 16 of the big marshmallows in his mouth. He looks like the guy in Happy Gilmore who had a nail shot into his head.) “Where you going?”
My mouth: “Newark Airport, Terminal A”
My head: Well aren’t you a sketchy looking fella.

Greasy Taxi Driver: “Take this.” (I’m handed a business card). “Call us when you go back and we come pick you up.”
My mouth: “Thanks…I didn’t realize Buscanero meant ‘Pirate’s Way.’”
My head: Who the hell names a taxi service ‘Pirate’s Way?’ Why does this guy’s speedometer always read “21?” Please stop talking to me.

Greasy Taxi Driver: “You know how to get to the airport.”
My mouth: “Yes. You take the 1, 9.”
My head: Why does he care if I know how to get to the airport? Why am I suddenly nervous? Do taxi drivers have background checks? Why aren’t there mute taxi services?

Greasy Taxi Driver: “Yeah. This lady didn’t know one time. And she started yelling at me, ‘Where are you going?’ You don’t know where you’re going!’ But I drive this three times a day. That’s right. Three times a day.
My mouth: “I guess you know the fastest routes then.”
My head: Good story…maybe some flattery will keep this guy from trying to molest me on the side of the highway.

Greasy Taxi Driver: “Is it warm, or cold in here?”
My mouth: “It’s fine.”
My head: PLEASE stop talking to me. It’s 5:45 in the morning, and I don’t care. (Driver yanks the car to the left to avoid hitting a curb, overcorrects and yanks back to the right.) Just kill me now.

Greasy Taxi Driver: “You married?”
My mouth: “No.”
My head: Please don’t say,“That’s good, don’t get married.” Because I know that’s what you’re about to say to me.

Greasy Taxi Driver: “Yeah. That’s the best way. No reason to get married.”
My mouth: “Yeah, no marriage for me. Not for a while at least.”
My head: Great. Marriage advice from my taxi driver.

Greasy Taxi Driver: “I was married. My wife died a few years ago.”
My mouth: “I’m sorry to hear that.”
My head: No sarcastic remark, no sarcastic remark, no sarcastic remark. Have a heart, have a heart, have a heart.

Greasy Taxi Driver: “I got lots of women now. Two or three all the time. I won’t marry again.”
My mouth: “I suppose that’s as good of a reason as any not to marry.”
My head: I imagine they’re classy women too. I suppose water buffaloes need love too. Please God let me arrive safe and un-violated..

Greasy Taxi Driver: “You know, this guy about your age wanted a woman real bad. He gave me thirty dollars and asked me to get a woman for him.”
My mouth: “Okayyy”
My head: You’re obviously lying to me now. You have no women, and, even in the happenstance that you did, what kind of desperate louse of a man would pick you as a wingman?

Greasy Taxi Driver: “So I went and got him a woman. A real nice one too. Yeah, she went home with him that night. He was real happy. He had sex with her.”
My mouth: ::awkward silence::
My head: Why are you telling me this? I can’t believe people tell random strangers this information. How does someone grow up with such incompetence in social skills? In fact, I bet he’s told this story a hundred different times, because from the convoluted and cracked lens he looks through in life, this makes him feel good about himself.

Greasy Taxi Driver: “I can get you a woman too.”
My mouth: “Ummm…I have a girlfriend. I don’t think she’d like that.”
My head: Oh, that’s why he’s telling me.

OK, I was insensitive, acted temperamental, and I lied. Don’t act like you would’ve done any differently.

Spare Change?

2005-08-07T12:27:00.001-07:00

New York will always be associated with the array of performing arts that saturate the city. You can find musical theatre on Broadway, improvisation at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, comedy at the Laugh Factory in Times Square, or choral/orchestral pieces at Carnegie Hall.

In reality, New Yorkers don’t go to shows unless you (the tourist) are visiting us. But that’s not to say the locals don’t enjoy a good show, we still watch several everyday: on our way to work, walking to lunch, or taking the subway across town. Yes, the street performers. But no one offers you solutions on where to find the best street performers…until now.

I intend to introduce the Street Performance Ranking System. No longer will the underground go unnoticed. No longer will tourists only stumble upon a man blowing into a saxophone while his son collects spare coins. And no longer will being wowed by a random stranger reciting a poem about obtaining HIV from being raped in a shelter be left to random chance. Not while I’m in New York at least.

I've come up with four categories in order to objectify the scoring: creativity, appearance, talent, and a pity factor.

Creativity (10pts): The key to making a name for yourself in this saturated market is to figure out how to differentiate your performance. If that means playing the violin while doing an Irish jig, so be it.

Appearance (10pts): Recently a co-worker told me “The clothes make the man.” The same goes for street performers. No matter how good you are, you have to play the part. Could Snoop Dogg be Snoop Dogg without the bling? What if Hank Williams Jr. trotted around in Chino’s and BMW’s? So don’t ask for my change if you’re going to carry it in your Louis Vuitton bag.

Performance (10pts): This is a tricky category because you have to be good, but you can’t be too good. There’s a fine line between being entertaining your audience and making your audience wonder why you’re too lazy to use your talents to make a name for yourself.

Pity Factor (Up to 3X point total): This is the one that ties it all together. You can be the most creative, talented, perfectly dressed street performer, but if you don't induce pity, you won't receive a dime. I don’t know if it’s an American quality, or human nature, but we like to feel sorry for other people. It makes us feel better about ourselves and our problems. Not too say people don’t feel true sympathy for the street performers, but out-of-sight, out-of-mind rules the day.

Scoring Equation:
(Creativity (10pts) + Appearance (10pts) + Talent (10pts))*(Pity Factor(3X))

Of course this scoring system is subject to modification, and please feel free to make your own suggestions to improve the quality of the overall scores.

Now onto the show!

Mexican Mariachi Band
They found me on the 1, 9 on a Sunday morning. Four Mexicans each carrying guitars wearing typical Mariachi costumes (think Three Amigos) will come and serenade you.
Creativity: (5 Points) It's nice to see four of our panhandling friends team into a musical powerhouse. The entire performance is in Spanish, including the request for your spare change. While I may not agree with the strategy, they have definitely determined their target market.
Appearance: (4 Points) No one can argue with the mariachi style, it's definitely eye-catching. But if you're going to wear mariachi, you better at least wear the big hats- which they didn't.
Performance: (7 Points) The harmony of their four voices combined with the strumming of four classical guitars is a powerful combination. With your eyes closed, you could pretend you were in una cancion Mexicana de amor.
Pity Factor: (1.2X) It's tough to give up your spare change for a song you can't understand. How do you feel pity for a group whose clothes look more expensive than yours? I'd suggest they drop the costumes, grow some stubble, and add a band member who's missing an appendage.
Total Score: (19.2/90)

Smaller than Average Accordion Player
Look for him at the underground transfer from Port Authority to Times Square Station, workday mornings. Purely instrumental, our big hearted friend will serenade you with an accordion, a smile, and a small dance to match.
Creativity: (8 Points) The accordion music is similar to David Hasselhoff in the "Things that never really caught on in the U.S." category (along with soccer and man-purses). Regardless, our performer has managed to make lemonade from lemons by combining an interesting sound with familiar tunes such as The Godfather theme or Java Negila.
Appearance: (8 Points) Dark brown Dickey's workpants, button up stained work shirt, and a funky green vest. Nothing too repulsive, not too much stench, and nothing to catch your attention.
Performance: (10 Points) The man can put on a performance. Because of the set up of the hallway, you're able to listen to him for a solid 30 seconds, 45 if you walk Texas paced. Unfortunately, it's just long enough to get his music stuck in your head for the next hour. His music playing ability is top notch, but what puts him over the top is the attitude behind the music. He always smiles, and not some creepy smile that makes you walk faster, but a genuine smile that leaves you thinking he's really happy to be in a cold, smelly tunnel playing his music and doing it on his own terms.
Pity Factor: (2.6X) This is a difficult call to make, because I'm extremely biased towards this performer. He's the one thing I can depend on in the morning aside from cranky New Yorkers. I may not have hot water, the bus may be late, the weather may be bad, but he will ALWAYS be there. In fact, when I walk by, I never feel pity for him. It's more of a Disney World approach where he will make that hallway the "happiest place on earth" for 30 seconds, and you drop him the occasional buck. So I can't penalize him for not being a sad case. Whatever, it's my system, and I'll do what pleases me.
Total Score: (67.6/90)

Harmonica Playing She-Male
Find him/her at the far end of the underground transfer from Port Authority to Times Square Station, workday evenings. I only say she-male because I'm not completely positive, but I lean towards female. On your way home from work, you can catch this performer with a harmonica in her mouth breathing in and out. While not breathtaking, it does require breath.
Creativity: (2 Points) She wears a funny hat, but not that funny.
Appearance: (10 Points) My first reaction to this performer was "That man is wearing a dress!" Upon further review, "that man" became "that ambiguous performer." After about 30 performances, I am 75% positive she's a lady who wears a dress that seems very similar to a hospital gown. Her face is tanned with very dark creases that you would see on an old rancher. Of what little hair I can see, it's gray and hasn't seen a wash in many months.
Performance: (1 Point) If you ask me, she stands and breathes, and if almost by accident, there's a harmonica in her mouth.
Pity Factor: (3X) The key to this show is to see repeat performances. You can walk by once and ignore it. The second time you might just catch a quick glance. But the third time, the fourth time, the fifth time...it begins to set in that this person stands in a dress with a harmonica in her mouth everyday and just breathes. The 14th time, the 15th time, the 16th time...you begin to think about how she probably doesn't have a friend in the entire world. She exists, and nothing more. The 25th time, the 26th time, the 27th time...you wonder how it ever came to this. Why does she continue to live? 1,000's of people see her everyday, and do nothing. Including myself.
Total Score: (36.4)

Underground Shakespeare
I can't remember, the subway line I was on, but I'll never forget the performance. You get a poem, and a broken heart.
Creativity: (8 Points) He used his brain and created a masterpiece in words.
Appearance: (9 Points) Sweat pants and an old t-shirt with a back pack, glasses with only one lens.
Performance: (10 Points) He'll walk into your subway car, and you'll assume it's the same old story. And then he'll begin to tell you how his boyfriend raped him at the shelter he was staying at. He'll say he has no place to stay now, because he isn't safe at the shelter anymore, and he needs money to get treatment at the hospital because he has AIDS. He says if you give him nothing more, at least give him your time to listen to his poem. He then recites his poem from memory, pausing at the perfect moments, only using inflection in his voice when warranted, and he sews a tale together so heart-wrenching, you would pay him to stop. Then he will stop, and while trying to hold back your tears, you'll reach deep into your wallet, past George Washington, all the way to Abe Lincoln.
Pity Factor: (3X) A gay homeless man with AIDs living in fear and certain to die within the next year. I only hope it was all a performance.
Total: (81)

This is only a start to the performing jungle that lay beneath the city streets. Look forward to Part II on another day!

Playing the Odds

2005-08-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

Story #1:
I felt lucky and decided to only look at one card before making my bet. Careful not to see both cards, I folded the corner of the top card to reveal the ace of clubs. I went all in, and only one other player, Mike, called me. I left my card covered as the dealer dealt the cards. Ace of hearts, king of diamonds, eight of clubs, seven of diamonds, king of hearts. Mike flipped over pocket queens. I knew I had won at that point, but I made a dramatic effort to turn over the unknown card…a king, which made a full house.

Story #2:
A friend woke in the middle of the night and sensed that God was telling her something. She believed God wanted her to pray for her friend who is an air force pilot stationed outside of Iraq. After an hour of prayer, she returned to bed. The following morning, she emailed the pilot relaying the previous night’s events. She later found out that at the exact same time of her prayer, he was flying a mission over Baghdad.

These simple stories illustrate one of a series of questions on my mind:

What’s the difference between chance and God’s whisperings? Why is that my lucky feeling was just that- luck, while my friend’s feeling was by God’s prodding? How can we distinguish the two?

How can we confidently expect God to answer our prayers when it seems so many of our prayers are left unanswered?

Can prayer be explained away as an ancient form of psychotherapy, as in “believing something hard enough that it comes true?” Or if we pray enough times about enough topics, won’t we, by random probability, have at least some “answered prayers”?

With so much undeniable evil and hurt in the world (natural disasters, cancer, starvation, murder, genocide, terrorism, why doesn’t an all-powerful God do more to stop it? Furthermore, how can we attribute what’s good in the world to God, and the bad to either random chance or demonic force?

Can’t non-Christians claim the same blessings that Christians claim on a daily basis? Do non-Christian’s not experience as many true love’s, near misses, promotions, lucky-breaks, exuberant moments, and meaningful relationships as Christians?

Isn't it a slightly crazy notion to center your life around something two thousand years ago written in a book documented hundreds of years after someone’s life was over, which claims that if you eat flesh and drink blood (yes I understand it’s a metaphor), you can have eternal life?

All to say…I am leading a growth group at my church starting in mid-February, and I've chose a topic personal to myself- those who struggle with doubt. We're going to read the book, "Reaching for the Invisible God," by Phillip Yancey. Having just started the book, I’ll leave you with one “takeaway” that I’ve already found in the form of a Thomas Merton quote.

"We receive enlightenment only in proportions as we give ourselves more and more completely to God by humble submission and love. We do not first see, then act: we act, then see…And that is why the man who waits to see clearly, before he will believe, will never start on the journey."

And I guess that’s why it’s called faith, because without doubt, faith could not exist.

Another Sunday Morning

2005-08-07T12:26:00.000-07:00

Prettiest man I ever saw.
-Curly Bill
Tombstone

There he was, 6’3”, shoulder length, dyed blonde hair, 200 pounds. The real thing…a male model.

I had heard rumors that the male model of the year attended our church. I assumed this was him. You could feel the attention the entire lobby was pouring into this guy.

Actually, my friend Jessica had invited him to church. She introduced Josh to my group of friends, and Josh and I had a brief conversation. It turns out he moved to New York from southern Alabama two weeks ago, and he was starting his modeling career.

That was plenty for me. I had a conversation with a real life male model. But more was to come…

I grabbed an aisle seat in the theatre with some members of my growth group (including Jessica). You can guess- Josh sat next to me. Not exaggerating, he sat in a manner that takes up half of my leg room. I wasn’t sure if I should say something; I thought that maybe that’s how male models are supposed to sit.

During the worship, I noticed him text messaging his friend. I suppose male models do that too. Within minutes, male model number 2, Seth (who was a contestant on Bravo’s Manhunt) showed up and sat in front of us. Aside from me being confined to an area of space that would make a contortionist salivate, the service finished without incident.

I helped tear down the church service, and met my friends to go catch lunch at Cosi’s. Both Josh and Seth joined us. After a few brief commentaries such as, “Man I’m sore! Not much to do in this city except run and work out!” and “I found a great branch outside to do chin-ups on,” I was ready to leave.

But then the tide turned. He mentioned he grew up on a horse farm, and then we began speaking redneck to each other. It turns out he’s a coon huntin’, alligator wrestlin’ good ole’ boy, and he thinks adjusting to New York is as difficult as I do. We had plenty to talk about after that. In fact, the more I think about it, this guy only has up-side potential. Not only do we speak the same language, male models hang out with female models too, right? And I’d be more than happy to eat the crumbs that fall off his plate…he’s that pretty.

Make Manly Love, not War

2005-08-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

As reported at Newscientist , the goverment considered developing a non lethal chemical weapon that "would make enemy soldiers sexually irrestible to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a 'distasteful but completely non-lethal' blow to morale."

Two thoughts:
1. Wow. That's disgusting (but entirely too funny).
2. This would be the hottest selling drug/chemical on the black market in NYC. And you thought ruphies were bad.

The Spawning

2005-08-07T12:22:00.000-07:00

Why a weblog? Recently a friend of mine, Spencer Elliot, started his own blog. He invited me to guest write if it suited me. Even surprising myself, I did just that- writing “Money is nice...except you have to work for it. (see below)” As soon as I saw it posted on the web, I was hooked. Still, why bother?

1) Naturally, after moving to New York, I have lost touch, or at least communicate less frequently with a number of my friends back home. With this tool, you can all keep up with my life in New York, and I will continue to struggle to keep up with your lives in your respective homes.

2) What do we all want? Attention. That, and I intend for this to be the springboard for my imminent multi-million dollar book deal. I’m just being honest here!

3) I’m a story-teller, and living in a sea of liberal Yankees gives me the opportunity to tell a lot of stories. On slow weeks, I’ll reach into my story grab bag I’ve accumulated since August.

4) To exercise my brain. My position requires a lot more analytical/math skills than verbal/grammatical skills (Me fail English, that’s unpossible!), and like Napoleon Dynamite says, “Girls only like boyfriends with great skills.” More importantly, I enjoy writing, and I’m cheap. Thus, as long as I’m paying for this site, I intend to squeeze every penny of bandwidth out of it.

5) I watch too much TV (actually I’m watching TV as I write this). Damn.

6) I don't have cable yet.

That being said, thank you for coming, and please do not hesitate to post your comments because I would love to hear from you all!

Money is nice...except you have to work for it

2005-08-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

Motivated more by the fear of lacking financial aid than personal ambition, I worked diligently my first two years of college. By the beginning of my junior year, I had more or less locked up enough permanent scholarships that I no longer had to focus on how to pay for another semester. Relieved of my scholarly burden, I committed my last two years to fraternizing. Rather than bothering with grades and classes, I focused on people and opportunities. I led events on campus, built parade floats, danced in All University Sing, performed community service, and spent many a night on old, musty porches contemplating life's great questions with great friends - questions like, "If we dyed Levi's (the house Labrador) hair camouflage, would he make a better hunting dog?"

But how things change. Having graduated and moved to New York, I no longer have a porch. Events are hosted by Human Resources. I fraternize with a goal: to meet the right people to gain access to the right projects. I traded American Eagle sandals for Cole Haan dress loafers and sorority crush T-shirts for Brooks Brothers wrinkle-free button-ups.

Was my life better then, or now? With the daily cares of the working world come the perks of responsibility, and I've been trying to decide which life is better: college or real world. In the spirit of Ben Franklin, I've compiled the following list of pros and cons of life in the working world of NYC.

Salary:
Pro: Two words: Discretionary Income. It's a beautiful thing. And so is my new 7 mega pixel Canon Digital Camera
Con: Taxes. For every dollar I earn, I see less than 70 cents of it. Factor in sales tax and health insurance and I keep 60 cents on the dollar. And you have to work just to receive the 60 cents.

Opportunity:
Pro: While being president of a club might make you BMOC in college, there's something about the idea of promotions, networking, and developing one's career that makes you feel alive.
Con: No self-confidence? Not sure you can do it? Don't want to take a chance? May I be the first to welcome you to a lifetime career in middle management.

Responsibility:
Pro: For many kids, parents still take some financial responsibility for their kids (kind of a like a silent partner). But you soon realize, you have 100% authority over your own life, which is an exhilarating thought at times.
Con: Skip class too many times, you're out a $1,000 bucks. Skip out on work, miss a deadline, or poor performance, (if I may borrow from Mr. Trump) You're Fired. Good luck paying rent, wise guy.

Increased Options:
Pro: Financial constraints are often limiting factors in how you spend your time in college. While this remains true in the real world, it is less constraining. For example, a few hundred dollars on a plane ticket won't rock your bank account. Vegas anyone?
Con: To borrow from Red, "You gotta get busy livin', or get busy dyin' ". Free time becomes a limited commodity. Will you spend it partying? Community service? An internet rock star? Wasted time means something in the real world.

Personal Growth:
Pro: I live in a city where had John Kerry won, it would've overshadowed the Second Coming. My first weekend here, I was offered drugs and scolded for being bothered that Vince Vaughn might be gay. I'm challenged every where I look- politically, religiously, and personally. The pressure to cave in and simply join the mix is tremendous. I know this exists in daily life in Dallas, but I doubt to the extent I have experienced in NYC.
Con: One puff never hurt anyone, right? One of my managers commented that you have the intelligent east and west coast, and all red states should be nuked. Putting up with such nonsensical logic day after day is a beating I'd rather not put up with. Go Dubya.

New Friendships:
Pro: You will either make new friendships, or become a hermit. In college, there's a strong chance you were surrounded by about 75 friends all very similar to yourself. While I cherish my friends from home, it's refreshing to see that we're not a cookie cutter world. By being forced out of your comfort zone, you begin to acknowledge the world is a lot larger than a core group of friends.
Con: New York is most likely the loneliest 12 million people you can ever meet. Trying to form a group in this city is like trying to squeeze orange juice out of an apple. If you're an introvert who still likes to be around people, welcome to hell. You live in an environment where everything is looked upon skeptically. Community doesn't exist, and neighbors always maintain a suspicious eye. (It's similar to freshman year, except the girls already have their freshman 15, and you can't hit on them (in the workplace).